During the 70's I was distributing our comedy feature film, "Is There Sex After Death," featuring Buck Henry ("The Graduate"), rated R, with glowing reviews from the media, and lines around the block at Cinema II on New York City's eastside. Cinema I, next door, was showing Stanley Kubrick's "Clockwork Orange" with modest attendance.
As our distribution spread nationally, I was receiving offers for home video rights. Heron International in London asked for a two-year contract with a $5,000 advance. That was a large amount in 1972 and I accepted the offer.
A man named Ronson was the CEO. He airmailed the contracts and a week later we had a company check. So far so good. Then I waited for their first VHS copy they promised to send. The weeks went by. Nothing in the mail. What was going on over there?
After three months I called the sales manager in London and I taped our conversation:
He: I'm sorry Mr. Abel, but we've had a problem with your movie.
Me: Such as?
He: Well, Mrs. Ronson happened to enter the screening room and observe the last scene. You know, it's called "The International Sex Bowl," whereby couples from various countries compete for climax before a black tie audience. She said it was disgusting and the company should not distribute your dirty movie."
Me: Sir, it's satire. You've mentioned one scene out of context. That's not fair. Now what happens?
He: We have your negative and VHS copies, all 1,000, in storage. And we'll return them to you if you return our advance check for $5,000. Otherwise, wait two years and you'll get everything back when the contract expires.
Me: I am flabbergasted, I said. That's a form of legal extortion. In the USA you would be obligated to perform or give up contract rights....
He: But not in England. We have a very strong moral code here. And your movie violates it.
Me: What if 10,000 people went to video stores and demanded to rent or buy "Is There Sex After Death?"
He: Well, that could make a difference and persuade us to overrule Mrs. Ronson's disdain. But that's not going to happen.
Me: I have a plan in mind that could attract those numbers seeking our movie. It would be a contest.
He: Good luck with that. Now if you'll pardon me, I have to attend a meeting.
My contest was going to be quite simple. Since the London company was a conglomerate with many interests in properties such as nursing homes and hospital supplies, such as bandages and hypodermic needles, I would create a contest among video stores to find a customer with the largest prick on his or her arm.
Within a week I mailed flyers to 50 video stores in London, Birmingham and Bristol announcing a contest promoting "Is There Sex After Death" by submitting photos showing a prick on the arm. The people with the largest pricks would receive a number of prizes. And the winner, a free expense paid trip to America.
It took only a few days after the mailing that I received a very angry call from CEO Ronson. He was shouting, in fact screaming, and I had to hold the phone away from my ear. But I heard his message loud and clear: "How dare you launch such an insidious, filthy, rotten contest at our company. Our barristers will be filing a law suit immediately."
The next day their chief lawyer was on the phone and he spoke with a very calm voice, explaining that I should cease and desist with the contest. If so, they were willing to tear up the contract and return our negative and all VHS copies in storage without charge. And we could keep the advance. I agreed wholeheartedly.
Fast forward ten years. A story in the NEW YORK TIMES reported that Mr. Ronson, and other executives with his company, had been indicted for fraudulent activities in the UK stock market. There was going to be stiff fines and jail time for all. I've often wondered what Mrs. Ronson had to say about that!
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