LIES, LIES AND MORE LIES

          I'm sure that everyone agrees with me when watching TV commercials, that the side effects are worse than the cure for an advertised pill. Especially while having dinner...."dizzyness, dry mouth, incontinenance, diahrrea, vomiting, constipation, kidney failure, heart attack, ulcers, sore throat, high fever and you could die."  Then, while feeling any of these disorders, you're supposed to call your doctor. And where is he? On the golf course of course. Don't even think of calling his cell phone. A slip of the scalpel, when you're in surgery, could mean you're dead.
     Then there are the insurance liars. It's bad enough that GI insurance only pays about $300 for funeral expenses. That will just about cover the cost for embalming and burial in Potter's Field. But if you die while still in the military service, your next of kin receives $100,000 from Uncle Sam, burial in a government cemetery, with full honors that include a volley of gun shots, "Taps" on the bugle and somebody in your family gets to keep the American flag that draped your coffin. Unless one of the honor guard had very bad aim.
     Of course you can fall sucker to one of the advertised funeral "Death Insurance Policies." The maximum is $20,000 and you don't need a medical exam. You could have lost two arms and a leg, still have shrapnal in your head and a bladder bag. They won't hold that against you. The only guarantee is the twenty grand, as long as your premiums are paid on time, and nobody over the age of 85 is eligible. Boo-hoo really old, old timers; just keep playing Bingo and sob your eyes out.
     Sorry to be sounding so sarcastic. But life is unfair. The late JFK said those words when asked why people who go to church regularly, don't drink, smoke, gamble, swear or smell badly often murder someone or steal all the money. Or the wrong criminal is in jail for years before, thanks to DNA, is found innocent of his alleged crime. And the Prosccuting Attorney still thinks the evidence against the poor soul was accurate. Well, that poor soul becomes a very rich soul when the county treasurer sends him or her a check for a few million dollars.
     Advertising campaigns will always prevail using "the permissable lie." Sex means sales. That's why you'll never see a 300 pound woman with pimples pitching an ad for any product, car or exercise machine. Maybe a Volvo back hoe lifting her out of the house or garage. Yes, Volvo did manufacture heavy equipment in the good old days. And their autos would run 400,000 miles with barely a squeak for ten or more years. Now that Ford has bought the company, just remember what happened with the Pinto.
    That's enough haranguing for today. I'm just going to sit, sulk and wait for the Sweet Sixteen Basketball teams to play a few good games. Watching those Dinosaurs with a round ball swishing through the net is great fun. Especially when the guy sitting on the bench for nearly four years is now in the game because the favorite players have fouled out. And the nearly forgotten senior from the bench scores a winning basket with two seconds on the clock. Eat your heart out, Michael Jordan!