I Left My Wallet In San Francisco

     In 1994 I was presenting lectures for THE LEARNING ANNEX in New York and other cities. My subject was "Using Your Wits To Win" and the three-hour session generally attracted fifty or sixty people. Everyone had some sort of problem to solve, and I always had ways to retaliate....without doing anything criminal or physical.
     On one trip from New York City to Sacramento, I had to change planes in San Francisco. That particular day the weather on the east coast was all snow and ice. So flights were cancelled one after another. I was lucky. Mine took off with a full load of passengers and six hours later we landed at San Francisco's airport. But my flight to Sacramento was overbooked, due to all the prior cancellations, so I was told I could catch a flight the next day and United Airlines would put me up in a nearby motel.
     I couldn't risk staying over because my lecture in Sacramento was scheduled for 7 pm the next day. My solution would be to rent a car and drive. So I headed through the mobs of people waiting for a flight, several thousand by my estimate, and finally reached a line at the Hertz Car Rental desk. They had plenty of cars. Mine would be a Chevy,
     I reached into my jacket for the large wallet I always carried on trips. It contained credit cards, a Daily Reminder pad and pen, a pocket for cash and visible sections for photos and my driver's license. I remember handing the agent an American Express card and my driver's license. Then I rested the wallet on the desk top as he wrote down all the necessary information, handed me back my credit card and license, and asked me to sign and initial a few pages.
   But wait! Where was my wallet? It was gone, out of sight and I was out of my mind! As I foamed at the mouth and shouted, "My wallet, my wallet! Who took my wallet?" The crowd around me was just standing their ground. Nobody seemed to care about my problem. They had their own called "frustration."
     Yes, I filed a report with a policeman in the crowd and went outside the terminal to the Hertz parking lot where my rental car was waiting. I only had my credit card and driver's license. No cash. But as I drove away and headed for Sacramenta, I realized I had all I needed to survive this trip and then return safely home.
     I decided not to get stressed. Granted, I did lose about $60 in cash and all the photos and several other credit cards. They were quickly cancelled of course. But some dirty rotten asshole was in  possession of my personal property and hard earned money. Perhaps he would be nice enough to mail me my wallet and personal stuff.
     When I returned to New York City I kept in touch with the San Francisco Police Dept. They never received anything with my name on it. And I didn't get anything in the mail. So I left my wallet in San Francisco, Tony Bennett. Why don't you sing a song about that?