YOUR MONEY BACK GUARANTEED!

     That's right. Your money back if you don't like the product or service. Please allow six to eight months. What takes all that amount of time to return, say $9.95? Well, the company has to pay legal fees for the Chapter 11 they filed to reorganize; then there are the expenses for employees salaries, a huge electric bill and their postage costs.
     With STAPLES, you receive what looks like a postcard and are about to tear up and discard. But on closer look, it's a valid check! (Of course the company hopes you thought it was trash mail and ended up in the round junk barrel). That's money for them, nothing for you. And perhaps that is one reason STAPLES is closing down stores.
     Another "guarantee" you have to beware of is the "free offer for services or a gift." If it's too good to be true, it isn't true. Why? Because you accepted the "free" deal and agreed to pay only the shipping and handling costs. The latter sums always exceed the cost of the services and/or the gift.
     To add insult to injury, the "company" has your credit or debit card (company in quotes because it's usually just a Post Office Box Number), and the tiny print at the bottom of this disingenuous offer
is too small to read without a magnifying glass. The disclaimer voids any guarantees.
      Now the coup d' tat is when you read your next bank statement and notice that $9.95 has been deducted, and will continue to be deducted monthly! That's outrageous and will drive any sane person to Prozac addiction.
    So you send a nasty letter to the President of the Company. You receive an apology from the Director of Customer Relations and wait six months to get your money back. Maybe. There is always another SNAFU. Your only recourse is to pay a fee to your bank and void any further deductions.
     There are no more free lunches, folks. I knew a young lady who worked for a major insurance company (Fireman's Fund) in their claims department, and the sign over her desk said: DON'T PAY.
That was back in the 90's and apparently they have reformed. But they did have what it takes to take what you've got.
     Finally, don't get mad....get even. That's the title of my book published by W. W. Norton and now out of print. Try to have a nice day.