You Have 30 Chances To Lose, Along With Cheap Death Insurance

     The CT Lottery brags about its $30 scratch off card that gives you 30 chances to win $30,000,000. You also have 30 chances to lose your $30. I've played this particular card once a month for the past seven years. The most I ever won was $100. Once. No complaint there.
     Another sucker trap involves DEATH INSURANCE.  I know the insurance companies call it LIFE INSURANCE. But they are disingenuous because they only pay when someone dies and nobody over the age of 85 can be insured with COLONIAL PENN, Alex Trebek's favorite insurer.
     There are a few insurance companies willing to insure lepers over 85, but they wlll be paying thousands a month for a premium. It would make more sense for these old-timers to save their money in CDs and just die naturally. The estate will be divided among the off-spring and their lawyers.
     I once asked an attorney friend who specialized in divorce and estates if there was ever a happy ending; i.e. the ex-wife and ex-husband shake hands and wish each other "good luck."
Over lunch at the Sherwood Diner in Westport, CT, he paused to think and then said, "never."
     Probably the most famous sucker traps are MEGA MILLIONS, POWER BALL AND PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOUSE. PCH, as it's called, badgers millions of homes with their ads for cheap merchandise and dangles a yearly prize that is too good to be true: WIN $5,000 a week for life and when you die, select someone you love to receive the same amount a week for life. It's all too good to be true because you can't win.
     The odds for winning a Mega Millions, Power Ball or PCH for life are 1 in 186 million. You would have a better chance to be struck by lightning during a rain storm while huddling under a tree. But that won't happen either. The odds are too outlandish.
     Recently, a 20-year-old-kid in Port Richey, FL won the Mega Millions Jackpot worth millions. After taxes he netted about 200 million. Not bad for a bagger at Stop And Shop earning $8 an hour, no tips and sore feet and hands at the end of the day. But he has an attorney who will govern his jackpot and make proper investments. Hmmmmmmm.
      I'm thinking of the late Allan Funt who hoaxed innocents on television and made millions. His accountant stole about two million and was indicted for Grand Larceny. The night before he went on trial, he checked into New York City's Biltmore Hotel and jumped out of the 19th floor window. No trial, no funds returned to Funt.
     Sorry to end on this unhappy note and apologies for rambling with this blog. There are no free lunches and if it's too good to be true, it's probably not true.