The Downfall of 1,200 Gilette Employees in Boston

     I have been shaving with lather for the past 80 years. When I tried to find a can of Colgate Shaving Cream at Wal-mart the other day, three things happened: 1. I was nearly run over by a huge lady with her shopping cart piled high; 2. The clerk stocking merchandise had no idea what I was talking about. She didn't speak English! 3. When I finally located the Men's Toilet Articles shelves, there was no lather, only cans of Gillette Edge.
     So I grabbed one of those to avoid being trampled by that large woman with a huge cookie cutter and far too many toys in her shopping cart. Then I checked out to avoid any further confrontations.
But where was my car? The parking lot was fam packed (remember it was Black Friday) and I was eiher in Aisle A, B, C, D. E. F. G. H, I, J,. K, L, M or N.
     You don't want to hear how I found  my car. All right, I climbed aboard a 4 X 4 pickup truck and, using my trusty binoculars, spotted my Volvo in Aisle D. Next time I'l tie a string around my finger. Because I have the world on a string. Oh what a great song title, Harold Arlen!
     So here is my beef that is bound to eventually put Gillette out of business. My can of Edge Fusion contains a blue foam, looking and feeling like tooth paste, and when I pressed the top of the can, the bluish foam spurted me in the navel. I was holding and pressing the wrong end. Don't laugh. You could do the same.
     When I finally squirted the blue ointment in one palm and rubbed it to the other palm, there was a little pile of cold blue foam in each hand. I rubbed my bearded cheeks and shaved. It was a painful task. Not only was my Gilette razor dull from use, the shaving foam was freezing my face. But I endured the pain, removed most of the face hair and applied a hot wash rag, along with a non-alcoholic after shave lotion.
     Finally, my advise to Gillette is to change their product's name to EDGE CONFUSION. Then develop a simple push button, with an arrow pointing to the correct opening. My belly button is still itchy from the cold application.
     Among the 1,200 folks recently going to work for Gillette, there must be a few with common sense and gender beards that often itch. Especially when they kiss their wife or mate. Mine complained when I could not remove all my beard in one shaving session. It took two sessions and I had to eat a cold dinner.
     One last thought. I was expecting a new style wonderful razor from Gillette in the mail, twelve years ago.  They promised to send one and never did.  I'll continue waiting. But forget the Edge.