The Best Damn Band In The Land!

     The best damn band in the land (a/k/aTBDBITL) is The Ohio State University Marching Band, 200 members strong, and all brass instruments. Their uniforms haven't changed in over a hundred years, nor has their marching tempo of 180 beats per minute. And every half-time show during football games has the tuba player dotting the i after one of their letter formations.
     OSU was my alma mater and I enjoyed sitting in the stands during every home game, and once in Ann Arbor, Michigan, during my four college years. As a drummer in the concert band and President of the Jazz Forum on campus with weekly jam sessions, I did not want to march fast with a heavy street drum strapped to my left leg. No way Jose!
     But I did compose one composition for TBDBITL, "Serenade To A Sand Dune," that featured dancing drummers whirling around to a Latin-Mambo melody. The 90 thousand spectators applauded, cheered and shouted "one more time!" So conductor Dr. Jack Evans repeated the three minute extravaganza, again to an overwhelming response from the audience.
     Meantime, the 40 football players waiting in the tunnel to run out for the second half game against Illinois, ran by the clock and led by coach Woody Hays. But they had to halt because TBDBITL was playing my song for the second time! So they waited fuming at the front of the tunnel, while  Coach Hays, furious,  demanded to know who was responsible for this debacle.
     All this time I was watching the game from the press box, thanks to bandleader Evans, and afterwards Woody Hays came storming up the steps to the press box shouting, "where is Alan Abel! I want to kick his ass for spoiling the team's entrance for the second half!" I heard his shout out in time to quickly jump into the clothes closet. All the reporters played dumb and said I wasn't around. Hays left in a huff. I did not relish the idea of trading blows with his linebacker body. Whew!  Saved by the bell.
     So what is the point of this blog? Well, Im complaining about the lack of half-time band shows during televised football games. The entire ten minutes is devoted to commercials and more commercials. Why? Because money talks, B.S. walks. One would think that colleges and the NFLmake enough money with ticket sales, overpriced hotdogs and beer plus parking fees. It's the greed factor, folks. Think about it and complain. But don't anticipate any changes. Sorry.