What Will Bruce Jenner Do With His Extra Body Part?

     He could give it to someone. Perhaps hold an auction on eBay, if they would allow "something questionable." Probably not.  Or gift the body part to a relative. Another possible is to display it, on the mantlepiece, in a jar filled with pickle juice. That might seem too gross for a newly made woman. On the other hand a DESPERATE HOUSEWIFE wouldn't hesitate for a moment to display her hubby's hose.
     I would love to question Lorena Bobbitt's ex husband, John, about this situation. The last I heard, he was an entertainer in Las Vegas, allowing tourists to throw plastic rings, from a distance, on to his sewn on and extended pee-pee. As a lady from New Bern,NC said on the "Jenny Jones Show,"  "Too bad Lorena told authorities where she threw his joint."
     Now, you readers are all wondering why I haven't just flat out said "penis" so far. Well, out of deference to Bruce Jenner, albeit his cover photo on VANITY FAIR MAGAZINE will sell at least 15 million copies, he/she deserves a little bit of modesty and privacy. Hmmmmmm. Not a very good excuse!
     But I am a media provocateur somewhat sad today. Why? Because the NEWSEUM in Washington,DC, a depository of news memorabilia, has rejected my offer to sell them my memorabilia over the past fifty years. I have thousands of letters, tapes and photos that could provide incredible source material among their other collections. Oh well, BROWN UNIVERSITY also decided not to buy my stuff. I believe i lost by one vote.
     So let's get back to Bruce Jenner. Probably the happiest person in the world (for awhile at least)  is Bill Cosby. All his attention on the top of the news has vanished, even though drugged woman number forty has claimed she was violated. Wait! Is it possible that Cosby and Jenner might become a twosome?  Never mind.
     There are so many negatives going through my mind today, ranging from the despicable orange haired killer in Colorado and his sobbing parents in the courtroom, to the fact that the late Paul Newman (may he RIP) who took his own popcorn to movie theaters. Yes, there is quite a distance between those two observations. And I will end today's blog on that because it's time for me to sulk.