An Act of Congress

TO: All members of Congress

FROM:  Media Provocateur

RE:  Resolving the Financial Crisis

DATE:  OCTOBER  5, 2013

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

     The present fiscal crisis can be swiftly resolved if Congress orders 1.2 million incarcerated people to be immediately released from Federal prisons. Then, they must be adopted within seven days or put to sleep.

Since it cost $35,000 a year for each prisoner to be housed, guarded, fed, educated, exercised, medicated and entertained, Uncle Sam could save trillions and help jump start the nation's economy.

     
Hardened criminals, serving 150 years or more, such as Bernie "Shyster" Madoff, would be confined to Alcatraz until they were reformed or made restitution.

     
Finally, to ease the Post Office debt, Jehovah's Witnesses are being asked to deliver the mail on Sundays, as an Act of God.