During World War II the Germans had developed mortor shells in different lengths and widths, often loaded with shrapnel and/or poison gas. Hitler was bent upon destroying mankind anyway he could, regardless of earlier treaties for Germany not to manufacture war materials. He duped the free world into believing that one maniac with only one testicle could do much harm. Especially the USA, so far away from his invasions of Poland, Russia and France.
Hitler's Screaming Mimi, or Nebelwerfer, had another feature that scared his enemies into surrendering. That was the screaming of the thinly constructed mortor projectile as it sailed through the air. It was much louder than a rock band in the present day spectrum known as "music." And this leads me to my beef.
How much louder and higher can singers today sing? The "Voice" or "America's Got Talent" display young people with leather lungs that almost reach the height whereby only dogs can hear them. But not quite. So we humans have to endure the raw audible vocal cords designed to deafen a person, regardless of age. Accordingly, we are all doomed to die with dead ears!
Anthropologists dig up mummies with all their teeth after 5,000 years. But no ears. What happened? Were those earless souls frightened by a dinosaur? Or, like the Indians taking scalps for souvenirs, did early tribes of Neanderthal men and women treasure ear trophies after a battle with sticks and stones? We may never know until the conspiracy mavens tackle that possibility.
Meantime, we the people, must endure the ongoing plight of voices singing too loud and too high in pitch. Forget music lessons learned at Juilliard, Curtis and Eastman. Most singing graduates are stuck with a job at Wendy's and instrumentalists are selling shoes to earn a living. That is, unless one of these unfortunate music graduates has a relative who has donated many thousands of dollars to a symphony orchestra or an opera company. Their donations become viable connections for obtaining a job after four years of college training.
One of my college friends majored in music at The Ohio State University and graduated with his cello and a degree. His first job was with the Birmingham Symphony and a salary that only paid his monthly apartment rent. In order to eat, pay utilities and buy a used car, Chris had to sell shoes on Saturday and wait tables on Sunday. He lasted for about a year and then departed, after he found a lovely Southern Belle who "was loaded with large breasts and money" he told me in a letter. They married and lived happily ever after.
Our twenty-month old son is beating on a street drum I gave him. Jalen also dances when I play some jazzy rhythm. But when I asked him if there was any hope for his future in music, he answered immediately with a resounding "No!!!" It is certainly reassuring to hear such an intelligent response from someone so young. Thank heavens there will be no "Screaming Mimi" in our family!
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