According to a recent Neilsen Report there are 900 Reality Shows presently on television channels. And there are hundreds of thousands of ad to interrupt your pleasure of watching TV. But don't despair folks. I have a plan to charge advertisers for entering our homes via television and computer screens. Please follow this scenario closely, then email your Congressman and Congresswoman to introduce a bill that would make it all happen. Here goes:
Beginning in 2015 advertising agencies must pay a modest fee for each client they represent to every home in America. For a licensing cost of $5000 a year, to each tax payer of record, everyone will then feel comfortable about seeing ads on their TV and computer screens. Kind of like having a relay tower on your property for cell phone companies. They pay tons of money for that arrangement and more each year. Ditto for NASCAR racers with all their labels on uniforms and cars. Athletes too generate more money than winning at sports.
Times have changed. As a kid in Ohio I can remember going to Oberlin College with my music teacher, a tennis buff, to watch matches played by Bill Tilden and Bobby Riggs. Or a basketball game in Akron when Bob Cousey was king on the court. No touching, pushing or stepping on toes then. And no money. They all played for the sport. Winning a trophy was the Holy Grail. More remunerative was grabbing the brass ring when riding a merry-go-round.
Today, money is everything. Consider Nadal's two million dollar check for winning the French open in tennis. Even the loser receives a hefty amount, although not as much as a Christmas bonus for a Citi Bank executive. Money, money, money. That's the name of the game.
If I had to live my life over again, I would be a tennis pro. That was my passion at the age of 12 and we had two tennis courts in Coshocton, Ohio, a town of 12,000. When the Mayor was asked why the population never changed, he replied "because everytime a baby is born, somebody leaves town."
He himself had to run away after he impregnated a high school senior. I can still see Maisy lumbering down Main Street carrying her 40 pound load. They left town together. So the population did change.
I played tennis with all the older guys and I was getting better all the time. When I reached college, I played more tennis with my buddy, Mac Schaeffer, and almost made the tennis team. But I had another avocation, jazz drumming. All the musicians around Columbus would meet every week for an afternoon jam session. We packed University Hall with 1,500 students and there was dancing in the aisles.
But I am getting away from the subject. Now where were we? I do remember and will get back to it some other time. Now the door bell is ringing. Probably more Jehovah's Witnesses. Oh well, this will give me an opportunity to try out my can of Mace. We just don't allow any religion in our house. There is a little church practically next door. That's close enough!
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