My Political Career

      When Rep.  Stewart B. McKinney died from AIDS in 1988 he had three months left in his office term.  The State of Connecticut announced a special election and Christopher Shays, a Republican,  was the first to sign in. I was the second, as an independent write-in candidate.
     There were also several others climbing aboard the bandwagon. But Shays and I ruled the media’s coverage.  He had $200,000 and 200 staff members with as many telephones. I had $20,000 and 20 team members, all college age. My headquarters was the 1911 Duluth, Winnepeg & Pacific caboose in our backyard with one telephone and piles of campaign literature.
     The only political experience I had dated back to 1945 when I spent an hour in the House of Representatives as a Washington tourist.  There were about twenty Representatives present, taking turns at the lectern to defend or protest some sort of water conservation bill before Congress. Vice-President Harry S. Truman, as Speaker of the House, sat high above the assembly with his feet on his desk! And he was reading a LIFE Magazine throughout the hour!
     Fast forward forty-three years and here I was, throwing my hat into the political ring. On second thought, this was really going to be my second experience with politics. In 1964 I served as campaign manager for Mrs. Yetta Bronstein, independent candidate for President of the United States with a great slogan, “Vote for Yetta and Things Will Get Betta.”
     Although that was all in fun, and Yetta lost by a landslide, she did get more write-in votes that Mickey Mouse or Johnny Carson. Her competition was Barry Goldwater and Lyndon Johnson. Newsmen David Brinkley and Chet Huntley adopted Mrs. Bronstein as their favorite (tongue-in-cheek of course) on nightly television broadcasts from Convention headquarters in Atla ntic City.
     My wife Jeanne, a superb actress with multiple character voices, looked more like Natalie Wood than a Jewish housewife with fallen arches from the Bronx. So she stayed out of sight, only did interviews by phone and allowed me to take the heat up front. I always explained to reporters that Mrs. Bronstein was in Israel planting a tree.
     The student body at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore extended an invitation for her to visit the campus and speak. I accepted in her name, as campaign manager, and took the train on the appointed day. At the Baltimore station there were several hundred students waiting with campaign signs bearing Yetta’s slogan, a marching band playing “There’ll Be a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight,”  and Milton Eisenhower, President of the University!
     I spoke to the crowd and there was great disappointment over Yetta’s absence. But I managed to charm them with her platform that included: lowering all sidewalk curbs for baby carriages and senior citizens;  putting Jayne Mansfield’s nude photo on postage stamps; truth serum in the Senate drinking fountain; a chicken in everyone’s pot and other humorous planks.
     When the NEW YORK TIMES called to publish a story on Mrs. Bronstein, they insisted she appear for the photographer forthwith. They had a deadline with their Sunday Magazine going to press the next day. So Jeanne and I decided to make an appearance and take our chances on an expose.
     We met photographer Sam Falk in Central Park, I carried a campaign sign and Jeanne wore a huge red, white and blue crape paper button that said VOTE FOR YETTA BRONSTEIN. Falk never batted an eyelash as he shot several rolls of film of us walking around with dozens strangers attracted to the scene. Jeanne, 27 years old, wore an attractive dress and displayed her long blonde hair. And that’s the way she appeared in the TIMES several weeks later, as Mrs. Yetta Bronstein, along with a story on her campaign.
     Subsequently, the NEW YORK DAILY NEWS revealed the hoax. Their feature story showed Jeanne riding her bicycle and a humorous story brought down the curtain on this four-year scenario. She received an offer from Hawthorn Books to write “The President I Almost Was” and completed a manuscript in six weeks of frenetic writing. Avon Books paid $60,000 for the paperback rights and Peter Wolfe Ltd. Published an English edition.
     Cassandra, the British book critic, said “The President I Almost Was” is the best American satire since Sinclair Lewis’ ‘Babbitt.’”  There was also some flirtation with Broadway producers for a stage play, including  Jewish actress Gertrude Berg. Unfortunately, she passed away before anything materialized.
     Now, back to the future. I had a ball with my student campaigners when I ran for Congress in 1988, during a month of traveling around the state. We had four cars and concentrated our efforts in Stamford, New Haven and Hartford. As a political candidate there was never a problem with police permits or using a bull horn in downtown areas. The cops were very obliging in allowing us to take over public malls and parks.
     I also made a trip to Washington with several of my supporters to measure McKinney’s office. That was for the purpose of redecorating in case I won. No problem obtaining access, taking photos and measurements. Imagine attempting this sort of feat following 9/11 and the Homeland Security ring around Washington.
     On election night we all waited in the caboose for results and it soon became apparent that Christopher Shays would win hands down. My supporters gradually but sadly said their goodbyes and they really believed I had a chance. The youngest member, Gary Schwartz, a high school senior, was quite upset and suggested I demand a recount of votes. I assured him it was all over and the best man won.
     By the way, if I did win, my first official act in office would be to resign.