My Day With Cialis And A Six Hour Appendage

     I've wondered about the TV ads for a dose of Cialis and "being ready to perform with little or no notice." That sounds rather inviting. But then there are the side effects. They sound worse than the the cure for ED! Let's walk through the following scenario.
     The announcer shows a romantic couple ready for action. They are either going into a bedroom or heading for the ocean beach. Then the voice reminds male viewers to be careful. I'm advised not to go on this longevity trip if I am taking certain medicine. A long list of pills for ills are listed. I can neither pronounce or spell the names. But I have my master list at the ready. I won't be on a collision course.
     So I pass the first round. Now my mate is getting anxious and tugging at my you-know-what. But wait. The phone is ringing. Her mother will be arriving in an hour for a brief visit. That news did not soften the blows. I remained erect. My mother-in-law stayed for five hours. I timed it. My extended limb remained "ready when you are." But mind over matter said, "perhaps later that night in bed."
     While eating dinner I sat through more side effects from Cialis on the TV. There might be a danger from Bladder Sling, Scrotum Hammock and diarrhea. But not necessarily in that order. Along the way to the bedroom I could feel dizzy, faint, unable to breathe and lose my balance. There could also be brain damage (if I fell and hit my head on the floor). Then I should call my doctor or 911 or go to the hospital for x-rays and treatment. Nor should I forget my insurance cards and driver's license or passport.
     My libido was beginning to wane. I would say by three or four inches. Should I take another shot of Cialis? Perhaps a swig of booze?  Maybe drop in on Physician One Urgent Care? Or CVS's One Minute Clinic? I had to resolve this issue because the plumber was knocking on our door to fix our clogged toilet. He did with his snake and only charged $100. Cash. I wondered if he could also do something about my personal problem. Forget it!
     To complete this rather fascinating tale, our dinner delivered from Long John Silver was tasty. We watched "Jeopardy" together and answered only one answer with the correct question:  "How does someone get to Carnegie Hall?"  Answer: "Practice, practice, practice." The three panelists did not know that one. But one of them knew who the construction foreman was at King Tut's tomb.
     After digestion and a hot bath we both fell asleep. She was exhausted from her mother's visit.....you know, all that interrogation.....and I was tired of being tired. But thanks for the experience Cialis. Maybe another day I'll try your "easy rider" pill.