Death Insurance Anyone?

     Why do insurance companies call it "Life Insurance" when the insured person is covered until he or she dies? That is, as long as the premiums have been paid. Any default on a premium will nullify the insurance policy. And if you're over the age of 80 you can't be insured, unless it's a renewal. But only up to the age of 89!
     So let's start from the beginning and call it DEATH INSURANCE.  I've been receiving mail from Globe Life and Accident Insurance Company in Oklahoma City for the past ten years, About once a month they include a "personal" pitch letter and a chart with the monthly premiums. There is also a Business Reply envelope with the postage paid. I always send that back with my own "personal" pitch letter pleading for helping hermaphrodites become first class citizens; i.e. allowed to vote twice, file joint tax returns and a private John in the Armed Forces. Lots of luck!
     Globe's mailing includes a small print disclaimer I can't read. Too small. Not even my magnifying glass will raise the letters sufficiently to read. Doesn't matter. I know it has to do with Globe's limitations on their coverage. You probably have to die struck by lightning while painting your house or running naked in the woods. Who knows! Who cares! I'm not buying their "protection."
     Just what does it cost for Grandpa and Grandma, both 86, to be covered by Globe for a $50,000 "Life" Insurance policy? Only $526.99 a month! They couldn't round off that premium to $527, could they? If these Senior Citizens live to be 90 they would have spent $5,270 in premiums. Thereafter, probably in an assisted living facility, they would have to turn over their policy to that institution. And you know who profits if this couple dies before reaching 100. That's not a bad investment for any "Rich House For Lepers."
     At the Waveny Retirement Center in New Canaan,CT, retired Dr. Charles Crown played piano to entertain the guests, along with yours truly on drums. Dr. Crown was a stride pianist who managed to sound like a smal band of musicians when playing popular songs from the 30's and 40's. One elderly lady who was 105 years young, pantomimed a piano keyboard at her card table and silently mouthed the words to the songs, while accompanying herself on an invisible piano.
     Afterwards, I sat at this table with the smiling lady, Helen,  and she spoke to me with great clarity. Her many years on planet earth were just as amazing to her as it was to the facility's staff. Helen had been a church pianist in Stamford, CT and outlived everyone in her family, except for six grandchildren who visited her every Sunday. She counted every day as a blessing and, except for the usual chills and pills, she had no complaints.
     I asked Helen if she carried insurance and she replied, "for whom?" We both laughed and she said goodby by humming "Great Day," and pretending to add a piano background. That really made my day!