I don't want to buy anything from the girl with the goofy rotating eyes. She makes me dizzy. Nor do I want a reverse mortgage or to refinance my loans. I am not interested in meeting women with large breasts, medium sized, little or no breasts. Jehovah's Witnesses, please stay away from my house. I'm just not interested in religion anymore. Nor can I be persuaded to join anything. I've done it all over the years. I'm content to sit in a chair and sulk. Just leave me alone. Thanks.
I'm not trying to be a sour puss. Maybe a scrouge. I don't really need anything now. Oh, maybe, if you insist, some tooth paste and toilet paper. Just leave a few tubes and rolls on the front porch. I'll pay you later. Maybe not. You are earning money. I"m not. Pity the poor.
So what is this rant really about? I just hate to be treated like a consumer. The ploys to suck me in to buying something won't stop trying to entice me. The company offers free shipping. Ha ha. There are no more free lunches or dinners. Those seminars to lasso in the suckers faced a stiff law of diminishing returns. The freeloaders ate their food and drank the booze. But no sales today!
I am still outraged about the flood of mail and phone pitches to lower my auto and house insurance. It's the biggest hoax ever! The insurance companies all employ the same scame: sign up the "mark" for a ridiculously low cost the first few months. Then begin to raise the monthly cost by 15%, surreptitiously. It took me four months to notice that I was paying Liberty Mutual an additional $12 every month more. When I protested, the agent said it was standard procedure. Hmmmmmm.
My cereal box actually tasted better than the corn flakes inside. Yes, I cut out a square of cardboard and ate with milk. Yum yum. The cereal inside was stale and tasted like dry leaves. (I've eaten those too!). Ditto for the Atkins Diet meal. I tried one. Yuck! A McDonald's Hamburger is much better. Oh, stop with the calories' warning. We're all going to die someday and I'm not going to live my life worrying about getting too fat.
I don't have any more complaints for today. And don't forget: please leave me alone.
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