There Ain't No More Free Lunches

I remember many earlier days when our entire family (three kids and two adults) went to the movies for a dollar. It was the Mu-Wa-Tu Theater in Coshocton, Ohio. The population of 12,000 never changed from year to year because, as Sheriff Holmes said, "Every time a baby is born someone leave town."  And a full meal for our family at the Trinway Diner in Conesville was only $1.50! As Archie Bunker often sang with Edith, "Those Were The Days," with thanks to songwriters Lee Adams and Charles Strouse.

Nowadays, especially in cyberspace, everything and I mean everything is DISINGENUOUS! For example, I just tuned in to a chap who claimed to have lost 81 pounds in a year with his "secret." He then rambled on for ten minutes, reciting the magic of his "mound" that he lost, until I fell asleep. When I woke up a few minutes later, he was still ranting and raving about what he intended to tell me. Well, I said to myself, "fuck you asshole." I lost a pound just listening to this shithead. My solution was to press the delete button. Goodbye snake oil sales pitch.

And so it goes, folks. There ain't no more free lunches. Another example. My wife and I received a dozen invitations to attend free dinners hosted by retirement villages and investment planners. We had some excellent meals and sat through an hour of pitch talk. Then we went home to some late night talk on TV from comedians and soon fell asleep. That was during 2006 and 2012.

Those invitations ended because we never fell prey to the pitches. We did appreciate the free dinners, saving a few hundred dollars in total. Now, we're satisfied to eat at home, having paid for the food and enjoying our mutual company. Mostly small talk and lots of laughs over past achievements. If you want to peek into our dinner talks, view our daughter's and son-in-law's award-winning documentary, "Abel Raises Cain." It's a magnificent embarrassment. You can order a DVD from www.abelraisescain.com

So, beware if the message on your computer or television is too good to be true. The pitchman or pitchwoman has what it takes to take what you've got: YOUR MONEY! Meantime, try to have a nice day.