[the uncensored, possibly offensive, musings and rants of underground hoaxer, Alan Abel]
Wednesday, January 31, 2018
PLEASE READ SMALL PRINT BEFORE SIGNING CONTRACT!
BINDING AGREEMENT: These Official Rules ("Rules") constitute a legally binding agreement by and between Sponsor and entrant ("Entrant(s)"), and govern entry in the Sweepstakes (defined below). By participating, Entrants fully and unconditionally agree to abide by these Rules. Failure to comply with these Rules will void an Entrant's entry. Winning a prize is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements set forth herein. Entrants and/or potential winner may be required to provide proof of identification and eligibility as required by Sponsor. In the event there is a discrepancy or inconsistency between disclosures or other statements contained in any other Sweepstakes or promotional materials and the terms and conditions of these Rules, these Rules shall prevail, govern and control.
ELIGIBILITY: The Sweepstakes is open only to persons who are legal residents of, and physically located within, the 50 United States or the District of Columbia (except for residents of Rhode Island who are excluded from participating), and are at least eighteen (18) years of age or older at time of entry. An Entrant's entry into the Sweepstakes will be deemed to be a representation that the Entrant is 18 years of age or older. The Sweepstakes is void in Rhode Island, Puerto Rico, all other United States territories, outside the 50 United States, and where prohibited or restricted by law. All federal, state, and local laws and regulations apply. Employees of Sheffield & Kearney, Ltd., and their respective licensees, parent companies, subsidiaries, affiliates, suppliers, advertising and promotional agencies, and immediate family members (herein defined as spouse, parents, siblings, and children and each of their respective spouses, regardless of residence, and any person living in such a person's household, whether related or not) are not eligible to participate.
ENTRY PERIOD: The Sweepstakes begins at 12:01 a.m. Eastern Time ("ET") on January 31st, 2018 and ends at 11:59 p.m. PT on February 12th, 2018 (the "Entry Period"). Sponsor's computer is the official time-keeping device and Sponsor shall determine timeliness of entries in its sole discretion. Entries received after the Entry Period will not be eligible. Any proof of submission does not constitute proof of receipt. Entries will not be acknowledged or returned.
HOW TO ENTER: There are two (2) methods of entry: (i) the Email Collection Method of Entry and (ii) the Alternative Means of Entry (“AMOE”) outlined below (collectively, "Entry" or "Entries"). Entries received in excess of the limits stated herein are void, and Entrant may be disqualified in Sponsor's sole discretion.
EMAIL COLLECTION METHOD OF ENTRY: During the Entry Period, eligible participants can enter the Sweepstakes through the Email Collection Method of Entry by entering entrant’s first and last name and email address in the appropriate fields on www.AnnaSheffield.com/OneNight. Once you successfully submit your first and last name and email, and check the opt-in box to enter the Sweepstakes, you will be automatically entered into the Sweepstakes. Only one (1) Entry per person during the Entry Period will be eligible for the Sweepstakes. All product reviews must be in English. Sponsor does not guarantee the public posting of any product review and reserves the right, in its sole discretion, not to post a product review for any reason, including, but not limited to, if it contains any content that violates third party intellectual property, privacy or publicity rights; contains obscene, lewd, discriminatory or offensive language or otherwise objectionable material; comments on other retailers or websites; or comments on competitive products or other products, pricing or availability. Entrant agrees that Sponsor is not responsible for any unauthorized use of product reviews by third parties. Multiple reviews of the same product, fraudulent product reviews and non-product review Entries will not be posted or accepted and all Entries from any such user will be void. Entries generated by script, macro or other automated means and Entries by any means which subvert the entry process will be void and may disqualify any Entrant who uses such means to enter from participating. Entrants may not submit product review Entries with multiple email addresses nor use any device or artifice to submit product reviews multiple times or as multiple Entrants. Any Entrant who attempts to submit multiple Entries, with multiple email addresses, under multiple identities or uses any other device or artifice to subvert the entry process will be disqualified from participation in the Sweepstakes, and all product reviews and Entries submitted by that Entrant will be void.
ALTERNATIVE MEANS OF ENTRY: To avoid entering the sweepstakes online, you may enter by the AMOE instead of the Email Collection Method of Entry described above. To enter via this method, please visit the Anna Sheffield Atelier at 47 Orchard Street, New York, NY 10002 and provide Sponsor with: (1) your first and last name; (2) e-mail address.
AMOE Entries that do not clearly provide all of the above-listed information will be deemed ineligible (as determined in Sponsor’s sole discretion). Only one (1) Entry per person during the Entry Period will be eligible for the Sweepstakes. All In-Store Entries must be entered between January 29, 2018 and February 12, 2018. Sponsor is not responsible for lost, damaged or incomplete entries or other issues that otherwise might prevent receipt of any AMOE Entries.
Important notice regarding online entry from your mobile device: Depending on your wireless service provider/plan, you may be subject to additional fees when accessing and using the mobile services from your device in connection with entering and participating in the Sweepstakes or communicating with Sponsor or its representatives. Entrants using this means of entry are solely responsible for all charges, fees and taxes associated with entry and participation in this Sweepstakes. Entrants should consult their wireless service provider regarding its pricing plans prior to participating via a mobile device.
RANDOM DRAWING AND NOTIFICATION: On or about February 13th, 2018, Sponsor will select one (1) potential winner ("Potential Winner") in a random drawing from all eligible Entries received during the Entry Period. The winner is considered a Potential Winner pending verification of eligibility and compliance with these Rules. Potential Winner will be contacted by e-mail, phone or mail approximately one (1) business days after the random drawing using the contact information given at the time of Entry in order to verify eligibility and confirm him or her as the winner. If Sponsor is unable to contact any Potential Winner or if the Potential Winner fails to comply with these Rules or applicable law, the Potential Winner’s Prize is forfeited and an alternative winner will be selected.
The Prize will be awarded within approximately thirty (30) days after the winner is verified by Sponsor and all "Winner Requirements†(detailed in section 8 below) have been met.
In the event of a dispute over the identity of the winner, Entries will be deemed made by the authorized account holder of the email account submitted at the time of Entry. The authorized account holder is defined as the natural person to whom the email address is assigned by an Internet service provider, online service provider, or other organization (e.g., business, educational institution, etc.) that is responsible for assigning email addresses for the domain associated with the submitted email address. Sponsor will disqualify anyone suspected of entering by opening two separate accounts with different email addresses. The Potential Winner may be required to provide Sponsor with proof that he or she is the authorized account holder of the email address associated with the winning Entry and that all eligibility requirements are met. If a dispute cannot be resolved to Sponsor's satisfaction, the affected Entry will be deemed ineligible. Entrant is responsible for notifying Sponsor in writing if his or her email or other contact information has changed.
PRIZE AND THE APPROXIMATE RETAIL VALUE ("ARV"): One (1) winner will receive one (1) $1,000 Anna Sheffield Gift Card ("Gift Card") that can be used at www.AnnaSheffield.com and one (1) night’s stay at any hotel on One Night app, at a value that does not exceed $400 ("Prize") . The total ARV of all Prizes awarded in this Sweepstakes is $1,400. The Prize will be awarded only if the Potential Winner fully complies with these Rules. No cash in lieu of a prize will be awarded. No transfer, assignment, exchange, refund or substitution of a prize (or portion of any prize) permitted unless Sponsor, in its sole discretion, determines otherwise. The Prize will not be replaced or replenished if it is lost, stolen, damaged, destroyed or used without the winner's permission. All details and other restrictions of the Prize not specified in these Rules will be determined by Sponsor in its sole discretion. Sponsor reserves the right to substitute an alternative prize, in whole or in part, of equal or greater monetary value if a prize becomes unavailable or cannot be awarded as described for any reason. Prize pictured in advertising, marketing or promotional materials is for illustrative purposes only. All costs, including federal, state and local taxes, insurance, any costs/expenses related to participation in the Sweepstakes or acceptance or use of the Prize, and other expenses not specifically identified as included in the Prize, are the sole responsibility of the winner. SPONSOR MAKES NO WARRANTIES OR GUARANTEES OF ANY KIND REGARDING THE PRIZE, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING ANY IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, AND THE WINNER SHALL TAKE THE PRIZE "AS IS†AND AT HIS OR HER OWN RISK.
Odds of winning will depend on the number of eligible entries received.
WINNER REQUIREMENTS: The Potential Winner must comply with all terms and conditions of these Rules and winning is contingent upon fulfilling all requirements. The Potential Winner will be required to execute and return a federal 1099 tax form within seven (7) calendar days following the date of attempted notification. If a selected winner cannot be contacted, is ineligible, fails to claim the Prize, and/or fails to return the Price Claim Documents within the applicable time period, Sponsor may elect to disqualify the selected winner, who will then forfeit his or her right to receive the Prize. In the event a Potential Winner is disqualified for any reason, Sponsor will award the Prize to an alternate winner selected by a random drawing from among all remaining eligible Entries. Only three (3) alternate winners will be selected, after which the Prize will remain un-awarded. Arrangements for delivery of the Prize will be made after winner validation.
Acceptance of any prize shall constitute and signify the winner's agreement and consent that Sponsor may use the winner's name, city, state, likeness, photo, Entry and/or prize information in connection with the Sweepstakes for promotional, advertising or other purposes, worldwide, in any and all media now known or hereafter devised, including the Internet, without limitation and without further payment, notification, permission or other consideration, except where prohibited by law. Without limiting the generality of these Rules, the winner shall irrevocably grant, transfer, convey and assign to Sponsor the entirety of the rights in and to the Entry and all renewals and extensions of copyright, and the right to secure copyright registrations thereto in perpetuity including, without limitation, the rights to use the Entry for any and all purposes in any and all media whether now known or hereafter developed, on a worldwide basis, in perpetuity. Winner accepts and acknowledges that Sponsor shall not be obligated to use the Entry and that Sponsor in its sole discretion shall have the right to refrain from using the Entry. Sponsor shall not incur any liability whatsoever to the extent Sponsor chooses to refrain from any exploitation of its rights hereunder. Winner will defend, indemnify, and hold harmless Released Parties (as defined below) and any licensee of Sponsor against all claims, damages, liabilities, and expenses (including reasonable counsel fees and legal expenses) arising out of any breach of these terms.
RELEASES AND LIMITATIONS OF LIABILITY: By entering the Sweepstakes, each Entrant agrees to forever and irrevocably release and hold harmless Sponsor, and its affiliates, parent companies, subsidiaries, representatives, consultants, contractors, attorneys, suppliers, distributors, advertising/promotional agencies, public relations, fulfillment and marketing agencies, website providers and their respective officers, directors, stockholders, employees, agents, and representatives (collectively, the "Released Parties") from any and all claims, lawsuits, judgments, causes of action, injuries, losses, proceedings, demands, fines, penalties, liabilities, costs and expenses (including, without limitation, reasonable outside attorneys' fees and court costs) (collectively, "Claims") related to this Sweepstakes or Prize, including without limitation, Claims that may arise in connection with: (i) incomplete, lost, late, stolen, damaged, misdirected or illegible Entries or for failure to receive Entries due to any cause including, but not limited to, human, transmission, or technical problems, failures, or malfunctions of any kind, whether originating with sender, Released Parties or otherwise, that may limit an Entrant's ability to participate in the Sweepstakes; (ii) acceptance, receipt, travel related to, participation in, delivery of, possession, defects in, use, non-use, misuse, inability to use, loss, damage, destruction, negligence or willful misconduct in connection with the use of the Prize (or any component thereof); (iii) any change in the Prize (or any components thereof) due to unavailability or due to reasons beyond Sponsor's control; (iv) any incorrect or inaccurate information, whether caused by Entrant, printing or typographical errors or by any of the equipment or programming associated with or utilized in the Sweepstakes; (v) the violation of any third-party privacy, personal, publicity or proprietary rights; (vi) any interruptions in or postponement, cancellation or modification of the Sweepstakes or these Rules; (vii) any technical malfunctions or unavailability of any telephone network, computer system, online system, computer timing and/or dating mechanism, computer equipment, software or Internet service provider, or mail service utilized by any of the Released Parties or by an Entrant; or (viii) any wrongful, negligent, or unauthorized act or omission on the part of any of the Released Parties. Released Parties assume no responsibility for any damage to an Entrant's computer system which is occasioned by accessing the websites of Released Parties or participating in the Sweepstakes, or for any computer system, phone line, mobile phone, hardware, software or program malfunctions, or other errors, failures, delayed computer transmissions or network connections that are human or technical in nature, or for the incorrect or inaccurate capture of information, error in Entries or selection announcement, or the failure to capture any information. Released Parties will not be responsible or liable for any Entries in excess of the stated limit or for Entries that are late, forged, lost, misplaced, misdirected, tampered with, incomplete, deleted, damaged, garbled or otherwise not in compliance with the Rules, and all such Entries may, in Sponsor's sole and absolute discretion, be disqualified. Entrant further agrees that Released Parties are in no matter responsible for any warranty, representation, or guarantee, expressed or implied, in fact or in law, relating to the creation, administration or fulfillment of the Sweepstakes and/or the awarding of any prize. Released Parties will not be liable to winner or any other person for failure to supply any prize or any part thereof, by reason of fire, flood, epidemic, earthquake, unusually severe weather, hurricane, embargo, explosion, labor dispute or strike, labor or material shortage, transportation interruption of any kind, work slow-down, act of God or public enemy, satellite or equipment failure, riot or civil disturbance, war (declared or undeclared), terrorist threat or activity, any federal, state, or local government law, order, request, or regulation, or order of any court or jurisdiction (each a "Force Majeure" event or occurrence), or any other cause beyond Released Parties' control. Further, participants agree to waive the provisions of Civil Code Section 1542 which states: "A GENERAL RELEASE DOES NOT EXTEND TO CLAIMS WHICH THE CREDITOR DOES NOT KNOW OR SUSPECT TO EXIST IN HIS OR HER FAVOR AT THE TIME OF EXECUTING THE RELEASE, WHICH, IF KNOWN BY HIM OR HER MUST HAVE MATERIALLY AFFECTED HIS OR HER SETTLEMENT WITH THE DEBTOR." The releases hereunder are intended to apply to all claims not known or suspected to exist with the intent of waiving the effect of laws requiring the intent to release future unknown claims. THE LIMITATIONS, EXCLUSIONS AND DISCLAIMERS IN THIS SECTION AND ELSEWHERE IN THESE RULES APPLY TO THE MAXIMUM EXTENT PERMITTED BY APPLICABLE LAW.
ADDITIONAL RULES: Sponsor reserves the right to (i) permanently disqualify from any Sweepstakes it sponsors any person it believes has intentionally violated these Rules; and (ii) suspend, modify or terminate the Sweepstakes if Sponsor believes, in its sole discretion, that fraud, virus, tampering, malfunction, error, disruption, damage or any other cause beyond the control of Sponsor is impairing or will impair the administration, security, fairness, or integrity of the Sweepstakes. If, for any reason, the Sweepstakes is not capable of running as planned (including, without limitation, due to a Force Majeure event or any unanticipated occurrence that is not fully addressed in these Rules), Sponsor reserves the right to cancel, modify, or suspend the Sweepstakes or any element thereof. If, for any reason, more prize notifications are sent (or more claims are received) than the number of prizes offered, as set forth in these Rules, Sponsor reserves the right to award the intended number of prizes through a random drawing from among all eligible prize claims received. Sponsor may prohibit an Entrant from participating, winning, or accepting a prize (and void all associated Entries) if, in its sole discretion, it determines that said Entrant is attempting to undermine the legitimate operation of the Sweepstakes and associated prize by cheating, deception or other unfair practices or intending to annoy, abuse, threaten or harass any other participants or Sponsor's representatives. Sponsor's failure to enforce any term of these Rules shall not constitute a waiver of that provision. Entrants must have a valid e-mail address, and it is Entrant's responsibility to update Sponsor of any change in e-mail address. Any violation of these Rules or any behavior of the winner that may bring the winner or Sponsor into disrepute (in Sponsor's sole discretion) or false and/or deceptive Entries or acts, including misrepresentation of age, may result in winner's disqualification from the Sweepstakes and all privileges as a winner will be immediately terminated.
LEGAL WARNING: ANY ATTEMPT BY AN INDIVIDUAL, WHETHER OR NOT AN ENTRANT, TO DELIBERATELY DAMAGE, DESTROY, TAMPER OR VANDALIZE THIS SITE OR INTERFERE WITH OR UNDERMINE THE LEGITIMATE OPERATION OF THE SWEEPSTAKES, IS A VIOLATION OF CRIMINAL AND/OR CIVIL LAWS AND SPONSOR RESERVES THE RIGHT TO SEEK DAMAGES AND PURSUE ALL OTHER REMEDIES AGAINST ANY SUCH INDIVIDUAL TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW.
DISPUTES; CHOICE OF LAW: ALL ISSUES AND QUESTIONS CONCERNING THE CONSTRUCTION, VALIDITY, INTERPRETATION AND ENFORCEABILITY OF THESE RULES, OR THE RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS OF THE ENTRANT AND SPONSOR IN CONNECTION WITH THE SWEEPSTAKES, SHALL BE GOVERNED BY, AND CONSTRUED IN ACCORDANCE WITH, THE LAWS OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA WITHOUT GIVING EFFECT TO ANY CHOICE OF LAW OR CONFLICT OF LAW RULES (WHETHER OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA OR ANY OTHER JURISDICTION), WHICH WOULD CAUSE THE APPLICATION OF THE LAWS OF ANY JURISDICTION OTHER THAN THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA. EXCEPT WHERE PROHIBITED, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WILL ANY ENTRANT BE PERMITTED TO OBTAIN AWARDS FOR, AND HEREBY WAIVES ALL RIGHTS TO CLAIM PUNITIVE, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES, AND ANY OTHER DAMAGES, OTHER THAN FOR ACTUAL OUT-OF-POCKET EXPENSES, AND WAIVES ALL RIGHTS TO HAVE DAMAGES MULTIPLIED OR OTHERWISE INCREASED. EXCEPT WHERE PROHIBITED, EACH PERSON WHO PARTICIPATES IN THE SWEEPSTAKES IRREVOCABLY AGREES THAT SUCH DISPUTE(S) WILL BE RESOLVED SOLELY BY BINDING ARBITRATION BEFORE A SOLE ARBITRATOR, WITH EXPERIENCE IN ADVERTISING OR PROMOTION AND ENTERTAINMENT LAW, UNDER THE RULES AND REGULATIONS OF THE AMERICAN ARBITRATION ASSOCIATION ("AAA"); PROVIDED, HOWEVER, THAT NOTWITHSTANDING THE PARTIES' DECISION TO RESOLVE ANY AND ALL DISPUTES ARISING UNDER THIS SWEEPSTAKESTHROUGH ARBITRATION, SPONSOR MAY (1) SEEK TO OBTAIN INJUNCTIVE RELIEF OR OTHER EQUITABLE RELIEF FROM A COURT TO ENFORCE THE PROVISIONS OF THESE RULES; (2) BRING AN ACTION IN COURT TO PROTECT AND INTERPRET SPONSOR’S INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS; AND/OR (3) BRING AN ACTION TO ENFORCE THE DECISION OF THE ARBITRATOR BEFORE ANY COURT WITH APPLICABLE JURISDICTION. THE ARBITRATION WILL BE HELD IN LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA. THE ARBITRATOR WILL APPLY THE SUBSTANTIVE LAWS OF THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA, WILL ISSUE A WRITTEN DECISION AND WILL HAVE THE POWER TO AWARD ANY LEGAL REMEDIES EXCEPT AS LIMITED BY THESE RULES. The parties will split the arbitrator's fee; provided, however, if applicable law requires Sponsor to pay the arbitrator's fee in order for the arbitration provision to be enforceable, Sponsor shall have the discretion to pay such fees and proceed to arbitration. Entrant irrevocably waives any right to bring or join in any class action regarding the Sweepstakes. Judgment upon the arbitration award may be entered in any court having jurisdiction thereof. This arbitration provision shall be deemed to be self-executing, and in the event that any party fails to appear to any properly noticed arbitration proceeding, an award may be entered against such party notwithstanding said failure to appear.
PRIVACY POLICY/DATA COLLECTION: Any personally identifiable information collected during an Entrant's participation in the Sweepstakes will be collected by Sponsor or its designee and used by Sponsor, its affiliates, designees, agents and marketers for purposes of the proper administration and fulfillment of the Sweepstakes as described in these Rules and in accordance with Sponsor's Privacy Policy located at https://www.annasheffield.com/pages/privacy-policy. Each Entrant agrees to the collection, processing and storage of Entrant's personal data by Sponsor for purposes of the Sweepstakes.
WINNERS LIST: For the name of the Winner or a copy of these Rules, send a stamped, self-addressed envelope to: Sheffield & Kearney, Ltd., 47 Orchard Street, New York, NY 10002 or an email to pr@annasheffield.com Subject: Anna Sheffield Valentine’s Day Sweepstakes Winners List or Anna Sheffield Valentine’s Day Sweepstakes Official Rules (as applicable). Requests must be received no later than February 21st, 2018.
SEVERABILITY: If any portion of these Rules should be held invalid or unenforceable for any reason, such portion shall be deemed modified or severed from this agreement in such a manner as to enable the remaining portions of these Rules to remain in full force and effect as if no invalid or unenforceable provision had been part of this agreement.
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
What Is It Like To Be Sued For $1,000,000?
Back in the 60's there were demonstrations by pot smokers, women against men, street poets reciting or singing bawdy lyrics, rock bands trying to sell more records than the Beatles and soap box lecturers everywhere.
I made one trip to Speakers' Corner in London's Hyde Park, protesting the Six Day Middle East War and claiming it was only a J. Arthur Rank movie with real soldiers with real guns and real bullets, opening soon at a theater near you.
There were several hundred people around me, shouting and making threats. Two Bobbies stood by to protect me if necessary. I enjoyed the banter with the crowd: "Go home Yankee" one streetcar conductor yelled. I responded, "Yes, and take you with me?" There were more threats and epithets until the Bobbies decided to escort me to the safety of my hotel several blocks away.
All this banter in London was being surreptitiously filmed by a Canadian Broadcasting Company crew for later on the CBC-TV in Canada. It became a half-hour special that aired many times, and was well received.
Then one day back in New York City I was served by the Marshall with papers saying my faux organization, SINA, (Society for Indecency to Naked Animals), had been sued by ad agency BBD&O for one million dollars and a Default Judgment obtained for that amount against SINA'S bank acount with Bankers Trust.
Wow. What a shocker. But then I had to laugh. The Bill of Particulars for this judgment stated that the ad agency was defamed for its campaign to promote A. T. & T. with nude rabbits in a store window; and SINA had picketed the ad agency for rabbit nudity.
The second shocker was when the ad agency served Bankers Trust with its Default Judgment and found only $1 in the SINA accoun! That's all I ever kept in that account. No activity.
To make a longer story shorter, I met with the CEO of the ad agency on Madison Avenue in his gigantic board room that could seat 100. Just he and I. Mr. Osborn wanted to know where the money was. I said he had been pranked. No money. Nothing.
I had him call my accountant, CPA David Chase and my attorney Robert Schwartz. Both corroborated that I was a media provocateur and a hoaxer of some magnitude. He blushed and then laughed.
We went to lunch at the New York Athletic Club and of course he paid.
I made one trip to Speakers' Corner in London's Hyde Park, protesting the Six Day Middle East War and claiming it was only a J. Arthur Rank movie with real soldiers with real guns and real bullets, opening soon at a theater near you.
There were several hundred people around me, shouting and making threats. Two Bobbies stood by to protect me if necessary. I enjoyed the banter with the crowd: "Go home Yankee" one streetcar conductor yelled. I responded, "Yes, and take you with me?" There were more threats and epithets until the Bobbies decided to escort me to the safety of my hotel several blocks away.
All this banter in London was being surreptitiously filmed by a Canadian Broadcasting Company crew for later on the CBC-TV in Canada. It became a half-hour special that aired many times, and was well received.
Then one day back in New York City I was served by the Marshall with papers saying my faux organization, SINA, (Society for Indecency to Naked Animals), had been sued by ad agency BBD&O for one million dollars and a Default Judgment obtained for that amount against SINA'S bank acount with Bankers Trust.
Wow. What a shocker. But then I had to laugh. The Bill of Particulars for this judgment stated that the ad agency was defamed for its campaign to promote A. T. & T. with nude rabbits in a store window; and SINA had picketed the ad agency for rabbit nudity.
The second shocker was when the ad agency served Bankers Trust with its Default Judgment and found only $1 in the SINA accoun! That's all I ever kept in that account. No activity.
To make a longer story shorter, I met with the CEO of the ad agency on Madison Avenue in his gigantic board room that could seat 100. Just he and I. Mr. Osborn wanted to know where the money was. I said he had been pranked. No money. Nothing.
I had him call my accountant, CPA David Chase and my attorney Robert Schwartz. Both corroborated that I was a media provocateur and a hoaxer of some magnitude. He blushed and then laughed.
We went to lunch at the New York Athletic Club and of course he paid.
Sunday, January 14, 2018
You Have 30 Chances To Lose, Along With Cheap Death Insurance
The CT Lottery brags about its $30 scratch off card that gives you 30 chances to win $30,000,000. You also have 30 chances to lose your $30. I've played this particular card once a month for the past seven years. The most I ever won was $100. Once. No complaint there.
Another sucker trap involves DEATH INSURANCE. I know the insurance companies call it LIFE INSURANCE. But they are disingenuous because they only pay when someone dies and nobody over the age of 85 can be insured with COLONIAL PENN, Alex Trebek's favorite insurer.
There are a few insurance companies willing to insure lepers over 85, but they wlll be paying thousands a month for a premium. It would make more sense for these old-timers to save their money in CDs and just die naturally. The estate will be divided among the off-spring and their lawyers.
I once asked an attorney friend who specialized in divorce and estates if there was ever a happy ending; i.e. the ex-wife and ex-husband shake hands and wish each other "good luck."
Over lunch at the Sherwood Diner in Westport, CT, he paused to think and then said, "never."
Probably the most famous sucker traps are MEGA MILLIONS, POWER BALL AND PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOUSE. PCH, as it's called, badgers millions of homes with their ads for cheap merchandise and dangles a yearly prize that is too good to be true: WIN $5,000 a week for life and when you die, select someone you love to receive the same amount a week for life. It's all too good to be true because you can't win.
The odds for winning a Mega Millions, Power Ball or PCH for life are 1 in 186 million. You would have a better chance to be struck by lightning during a rain storm while huddling under a tree. But that won't happen either. The odds are too outlandish.
Recently, a 20-year-old-kid in Port Richey, FL won the Mega Millions Jackpot worth millions. After taxes he netted about 200 million. Not bad for a bagger at Stop And Shop earning $8 an hour, no tips and sore feet and hands at the end of the day. But he has an attorney who will govern his jackpot and make proper investments. Hmmmmmmm.
I'm thinking of the late Allan Funt who hoaxed innocents on television and made millions. His accountant stole about two million and was indicted for Grand Larceny. The night before he went on trial, he checked into New York City's Biltmore Hotel and jumped out of the 19th floor window. No trial, no funds returned to Funt.
Sorry to end on this unhappy note and apologies for rambling with this blog. There are no free lunches and if it's too good to be true, it's probably not true.
Another sucker trap involves DEATH INSURANCE. I know the insurance companies call it LIFE INSURANCE. But they are disingenuous because they only pay when someone dies and nobody over the age of 85 can be insured with COLONIAL PENN, Alex Trebek's favorite insurer.
There are a few insurance companies willing to insure lepers over 85, but they wlll be paying thousands a month for a premium. It would make more sense for these old-timers to save their money in CDs and just die naturally. The estate will be divided among the off-spring and their lawyers.
I once asked an attorney friend who specialized in divorce and estates if there was ever a happy ending; i.e. the ex-wife and ex-husband shake hands and wish each other "good luck."
Over lunch at the Sherwood Diner in Westport, CT, he paused to think and then said, "never."
Probably the most famous sucker traps are MEGA MILLIONS, POWER BALL AND PUBLISHERS CLEARING HOUSE. PCH, as it's called, badgers millions of homes with their ads for cheap merchandise and dangles a yearly prize that is too good to be true: WIN $5,000 a week for life and when you die, select someone you love to receive the same amount a week for life. It's all too good to be true because you can't win.
The odds for winning a Mega Millions, Power Ball or PCH for life are 1 in 186 million. You would have a better chance to be struck by lightning during a rain storm while huddling under a tree. But that won't happen either. The odds are too outlandish.
Recently, a 20-year-old-kid in Port Richey, FL won the Mega Millions Jackpot worth millions. After taxes he netted about 200 million. Not bad for a bagger at Stop And Shop earning $8 an hour, no tips and sore feet and hands at the end of the day. But he has an attorney who will govern his jackpot and make proper investments. Hmmmmmmm.
I'm thinking of the late Allan Funt who hoaxed innocents on television and made millions. His accountant stole about two million and was indicted for Grand Larceny. The night before he went on trial, he checked into New York City's Biltmore Hotel and jumped out of the 19th floor window. No trial, no funds returned to Funt.
Sorry to end on this unhappy note and apologies for rambling with this blog. There are no free lunches and if it's too good to be true, it's probably not true.
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