How About A Met-Life Death Insurance Policy?

     According to the television ads by MET-LIFE anyone can buy a DEATH POLICY without having to undergo a medical exam or even reveal you might be totally confined to your bedroom with bone cancer. But there is a catch for this $20,000 bounty when you die. You have to be under the age of 75.
     Who are these acturaries kidding? Go to any doctor's office and you will see patients in their 80's and 90's waiting for appointments. Why should these hardy old-timers be denied DEATH INSURANCE? Yes, let's call it what it is, MET-LIFE, it's DEATH INSURANCE.
     Obviously, the insurance company doesn't want to risk anyone living to 100 with a paid up DEATH INSURANCE POLICY.  The payouts to these feeble people waiting for Heaven would be enormous when they all start falling and suffer broken bones with a cardiac arrest to boot.
     On the other hand, if you are under the age of 75, would like to be cremated and have your ashes scattered on the lawn of a nearby House of Worship, then I would suggest going for the twenty grand policy before you pass the age of 75.  This would avoid enormous funeral expenses that could cost thousands of dollars. And the party afterwards, including musicians and good food, is always a five figure sum.
     So why not plan to die cheap? I have made my plans. No fuss, no heroic efforts to save my life, no public funeral. Just call a taxi, give the driver $500 and a shovel, a small metal container with my ashes, along with the modest wooden headstone that reads "I HAD FUN," and tell him to drive to a wooded area nearby.
     This way, friends, relatives and fans can visit that site (a $10 fee will send them a map) and they can cry their eyes out, curse me out or say prayers. I just won't care anymore.