Oh, not one more Rose Bowl Parade!

     Yes, it's another parade of floats, bands, commercials and incessant babble by Hoda Kopt and Al Rocker. The floats are gargantuan monsters with smiling people aboard who wished they had called in sick. Then there are the bands, ranging in size from 100 to 400 members. If any one band receives more than 30 seconds of airtime, it's a miracle. And to think these young and eager musicans have spent the past year washing cars, baby sitting and selling lemonade to raise the money for their trip to Pasadena.
     Finally, there are Hoda and Al. They have to fill the three-hour void, between commercials, with something to say about each float and band. They do have poop sheets for relevant information. But being TV personalities, they must compete with other network stars covering the same parade. Let's supply a sample dialogue, culminated from all those talking, but on different channels:
HE: Here comes the 150 member bandsmen from Sugar Creek, Ohio. Don't they look beautiful in their blue and gray uniforms, Al? And what is the name of that music they are playing?
SHE: They are playing "row, row, row your boat," or perhaps it's "I Love a Parade," I'm not sure. Oh, wait, the sound man just held up a sign that says YOU ARE BOTH WRONG. IT'S "DIXIE."
     The major companies that sponsor floats in THE ROSE BOWL PARADE spend hundreds of thousands of dollars, and all year to build their respective floats. There is stiff competition for becoming the prize winner of THE BEST FLOAT. I suspect that the Queen of the Rose Bowl Parade, along with her court of beauties, has the best chance to win. But seeing her smile for three hours must create a terrible case of lockjaw afterwards.
     I wouldn't stay up all night just to find standing space the next day to watch the Rose Bowl Parade. But I did watch on TV, and especially during the football game on January 1, 1958 when the Ohio State Marching Band played "Serenade to a Sand Dune" at halftime. That's because I wrote that sucker that gave TBDBIT their greatest ovation ever, according to Director Jack Evans.