Monday, July 17, 2017
Sean Spicer's Very First White House Press Conference
INTERIOR OF THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS ROOM JANUARY 10, 2017
REPORTER: Thank you for remembering my name. By the way, how do you pronounce yours? And I have a follow up question.
SPICER: Ahh. it's pronounced Sean as in braun. And Spicer as in Shicer. What is your follow up question?
REPORTER: How do you spell your name?
SPICER: S as in STUPID, E as in ENEMA, A as in APATHY and N as in NERD. That's SEAN, my first name. Now what was your other question?
REPORTER: How do you spell your last name?
SPICER: Ahh. S as in SHLEP, P as in POOP, I as in IDIOT, C as in CRUD, E as in ENEMY and R as in ROTTEN.
REPORTER: My name is Robinson and I'm with the Associated Press and....
SPICER: (INTERRUPTING) Ahh. We don't fake take news from the Associated Press, ahh I mean fake jews, I mean gnus, I mean, never mind. Next.
REPORTER: Have you ever been psychoanalized?
SPICER: No. Have you?
REPORTER: Oh, many times.
SPICER: How would you describe yourself?
REPORTER: Probably a nut job.
SPICER: Our time is up. Thank you all for coming. Don't bother tomorrow. We're having all the locks changed and President Rump, I mean Hump, I mean Dump Trump will have the only gold plated key.
Sunday, July 9, 2017
Why Did Vernon Duke Steal "April In Paris?"
It was for the 1932 Broadway Show, "Walk A Little Faster." The show was a smash hit and subsequently, Duke and his estate earned millions of dollars. So who was the legitimate author? Did he copyright "April In Paris?" Did he ever sue Vernon Duke? Why not? What's his name?
His name is the Black Throated Green Warbler, he still lives in the Connecticut trees and has been singing "April In Paris" for over two-hundred years! Ask any member of the Audubon Society because they have recordings for verification. But they too are as impotent as the United Nations.
I have attempted to find a pro bono attorney over the past forty years who is willing to file a law suit in Federal Court against Vernon Duke's estate, demanding a full accounting and a seven figure payment to all Black Throated Green Warblers. The legal community feels threatened by those sweet little birds who have been screwed. That is, no retainer fee up front is available.
As a pro se, I could institute legal action. But the goody two shoes perverted bird watchers would band together as Friends of the Court and stall my case for years, forcing me to either drop my suit or declare bankruptcy. I prefer to sit it out and wait for some young buck freshly out of law school who is really compassionate about obtaining justice for the birds.
Another negative factor is the ancient Copyright Law. It was slightly updated in 1978, allowing authors to retain rights until they die, plus seventy-five years. And there's no jail time for plagiarism. Just a slap on the wrist ("don't you ever do that again!") and a $1,000 fine. Maybe. If the thief cries a little, the judge can sentence him or her to 90 days of Community Service.
When I once had an ad campaign plagiarized, the perpetrator was traced to Claremont, California where he operated a gift shop, with a printing press in the back room. Hmmmmm. And he was distributing my original work nationally as his own! One big display was in a ground floor show window of the Empire State Building. What balls!
I visited the FBI and an agent gave me number 2,409. That was how many copyright cases were ahead of me for their investigation. Three years later the agent called. They found the culprit had sold his store and moved back to Mexico. Extradition was not possible. Only for rapists, killers and terrorists.
Where can I contribute to build that wall?
His name is the Black Throated Green Warbler, he still lives in the Connecticut trees and has been singing "April In Paris" for over two-hundred years! Ask any member of the Audubon Society because they have recordings for verification. But they too are as impotent as the United Nations.
I have attempted to find a pro bono attorney over the past forty years who is willing to file a law suit in Federal Court against Vernon Duke's estate, demanding a full accounting and a seven figure payment to all Black Throated Green Warblers. The legal community feels threatened by those sweet little birds who have been screwed. That is, no retainer fee up front is available.
As a pro se, I could institute legal action. But the goody two shoes perverted bird watchers would band together as Friends of the Court and stall my case for years, forcing me to either drop my suit or declare bankruptcy. I prefer to sit it out and wait for some young buck freshly out of law school who is really compassionate about obtaining justice for the birds.
Another negative factor is the ancient Copyright Law. It was slightly updated in 1978, allowing authors to retain rights until they die, plus seventy-five years. And there's no jail time for plagiarism. Just a slap on the wrist ("don't you ever do that again!") and a $1,000 fine. Maybe. If the thief cries a little, the judge can sentence him or her to 90 days of Community Service.
When I once had an ad campaign plagiarized, the perpetrator was traced to Claremont, California where he operated a gift shop, with a printing press in the back room. Hmmmmm. And he was distributing my original work nationally as his own! One big display was in a ground floor show window of the Empire State Building. What balls!
I visited the FBI and an agent gave me number 2,409. That was how many copyright cases were ahead of me for their investigation. Three years later the agent called. They found the culprit had sold his store and moved back to Mexico. Extradition was not possible. Only for rapists, killers and terrorists.
Where can I contribute to build that wall?
Friday, July 7, 2017
The Wizard Of Odd and For Whom the Bells Tolled
If this blog was a trivia contest, you would immediately know the title refers to DONALD TRUMP. This pathological liar has both skimmed and scammed the American public all the way to the White House, with help from fellow conspirator Vladimir Putin. Both of these rogues should be arrested for high crimes and tried at The Hague.
Then they would be hanged in public for all to see. And that's when the bells will toll. Not in memory, but in misery. Americans have all suffered during Trump's destructive dictatorship, his empty promises, vitriolic rhetoric, and now our guilt we let it last so long.
We are living in the greatest country in the world. More or less. More because we are free to hate and act stupid. Less because Jim Crow and Anti-Semitism prevail. Will we ever learn? Probably not. All those who voted for Trump should be hanging their heads in shame.
America is a country that can forgive and forget. From one generation to the next. There have been questions about Senator Joe McCarthy, General Ike Eisenhower and General George Patton on JEOPARDY that the smarties didn't know.
But we will always remember Pearl Harbor, John F. Kennedy, the 9/11 tragedy and Adam Lanza's brutality in murdering all those beautiful children. Thankfully, he committed suicide.
Nor can we ever forget the horrendous Ponzi scheme by Bernard Madoff. This former president of the New York Stock Exchange lived high on the hog for many years, stealing thousands of people's savings and forcing them to live in homeless shelters. He is spending the 150 year sentence in a maximum security prison; that's the life of his penis, not the rest of his miserable body.
Finally, let me leave you with the wisdom of Mrs.Yetta Bronstein, former independent candidate for President of the United States in 1964, when queried by reporters Huntley and Brinkley about her position on civil rights. She replied, "If we all can be civil, then we'll be right."
Then they would be hanged in public for all to see. And that's when the bells will toll. Not in memory, but in misery. Americans have all suffered during Trump's destructive dictatorship, his empty promises, vitriolic rhetoric, and now our guilt we let it last so long.
We are living in the greatest country in the world. More or less. More because we are free to hate and act stupid. Less because Jim Crow and Anti-Semitism prevail. Will we ever learn? Probably not. All those who voted for Trump should be hanging their heads in shame.
America is a country that can forgive and forget. From one generation to the next. There have been questions about Senator Joe McCarthy, General Ike Eisenhower and General George Patton on JEOPARDY that the smarties didn't know.
But we will always remember Pearl Harbor, John F. Kennedy, the 9/11 tragedy and Adam Lanza's brutality in murdering all those beautiful children. Thankfully, he committed suicide.
Nor can we ever forget the horrendous Ponzi scheme by Bernard Madoff. This former president of the New York Stock Exchange lived high on the hog for many years, stealing thousands of people's savings and forcing them to live in homeless shelters. He is spending the 150 year sentence in a maximum security prison; that's the life of his penis, not the rest of his miserable body.
Finally, let me leave you with the wisdom of Mrs.Yetta Bronstein, former independent candidate for President of the United States in 1964, when queried by reporters Huntley and Brinkley about her position on civil rights. She replied, "If we all can be civil, then we'll be right."
Tuesday, June 27, 2017
Why Is Jimmy Kimmel a Plagiarist?
Because he stole my copyrighted campaign for clothing naked horses with horse pants. I proclaimed "a nude horse is a rude horse" in 1959 and had my book about SINA, the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, published by TRIDENT PRESS ("The Great American Hoax") in 1965.
Paramount Pictures optioned the book for a movie to be produced by Martin Ritt ("Hud") that was to star Jack Lemmon and directed by Carl Reiner. Ira Wallach wrote the screenplay while his Broadway show, "Absence of a Cello," was engaged in a successful run.
Unfortunately, Ritt passed away and the film project was abandoned by Paramount. It was later optioned again by producer Sidney Glazier. He won an Academy Award for his documentary, "The Eleanor Roosevelt Story." However, he didn't like the screenplay that my wife and I had written. so that was strike two.
Enter the arena Woody Allen. He wrote me a letter asking to see the screenplay. We wanted to do another draft. Woody lost interest for other projects he had on back burners. Then Cary Grant expressed interest but became too involved with a movie of his own and Faberge, a company he held an interest in.
Dustin Hoffman's lawyer called during the 90's to inquire about film rights. I met with Dustin's writing staff in New York City. After a few weeks they said they couldn't find the "hook" for developing a movie. That was strike three. We were back at square one.
Suddenly, in 2016, Jimmy Kimmel appeared before the "Sharks" television show with a horse wearing Bermuda shorts and his sidekick, the Mexican midget. They wanted to raise money to clothe animals for the sake of decency! That night, the horse pants saga was displayed again on Jimmy Kimmel's show, without permission, payment or credit to the property rights owner.
Since ABC Television is owned by The Disney Company, they will soon be sued for copyright infringement in a class action lawsuit. Additional plaintiffs are being lined up so that the RICO ACT would prevail. That's a criminal act leading to hefty fines and prison time for the executives.
Filing the lawsuit in Federal Court and obtaining Examinations Before Trial will lead to heavy duty media coverage. So stay tuned!
Paramount Pictures optioned the book for a movie to be produced by Martin Ritt ("Hud") that was to star Jack Lemmon and directed by Carl Reiner. Ira Wallach wrote the screenplay while his Broadway show, "Absence of a Cello," was engaged in a successful run.
Unfortunately, Ritt passed away and the film project was abandoned by Paramount. It was later optioned again by producer Sidney Glazier. He won an Academy Award for his documentary, "The Eleanor Roosevelt Story." However, he didn't like the screenplay that my wife and I had written. so that was strike two.
Enter the arena Woody Allen. He wrote me a letter asking to see the screenplay. We wanted to do another draft. Woody lost interest for other projects he had on back burners. Then Cary Grant expressed interest but became too involved with a movie of his own and Faberge, a company he held an interest in.
Dustin Hoffman's lawyer called during the 90's to inquire about film rights. I met with Dustin's writing staff in New York City. After a few weeks they said they couldn't find the "hook" for developing a movie. That was strike three. We were back at square one.
Suddenly, in 2016, Jimmy Kimmel appeared before the "Sharks" television show with a horse wearing Bermuda shorts and his sidekick, the Mexican midget. They wanted to raise money to clothe animals for the sake of decency! That night, the horse pants saga was displayed again on Jimmy Kimmel's show, without permission, payment or credit to the property rights owner.
Since ABC Television is owned by The Disney Company, they will soon be sued for copyright infringement in a class action lawsuit. Additional plaintiffs are being lined up so that the RICO ACT would prevail. That's a criminal act leading to hefty fines and prison time for the executives.
Filing the lawsuit in Federal Court and obtaining Examinations Before Trial will lead to heavy duty media coverage. So stay tuned!
Monday, June 12, 2017
Why did noted psychiatrist, Dr. Irving Salan, say Donald Trump was a certified nut?
The late Dr. Irving Salan was a psychiatrist for the rich and famous back in the 90's. His cost for an hour on the couch was $300. A high price in those days. The first Tuesday of every month he held an open house party at his magnificant Park Avenue office in New York City . I was hired to entertain the 40-50 past, present and future clients. Also a dozen of his friends in the medical trade.
My internist, Dr. Sydney Kreps, was a close friend of Dr. Salan's and arranged our introduction. We bonded immediately. I appeared at dozens of his monthly parties. Sometimes with one of my "Shills." For example, Pat Paulson who was on the Smothers Brothers TV Show. Pat pretended he was seeking a psychologist to travel with him on the road for a summer tour. Because he claimed to be suicidal.
Dr. Salan's guests caught on immediately and plied Pat with questions that he answered frivolously and hilariously. It was quite an evening of fun. Another time I brought along friend Bob Pagani who was a uniformed guard at Madison Square Garden. Bob could always find me a front row seat when the Knicks played a basketball game. Nor did I have to pay.
Anyhow, I arranged for Bob to appear at Dr. Salan's party when it was in full swing, knock on the door and claim he was looking for illegal aliens hiding in his apartment. With half-a-dozen huge rooms and walkin closets, that was possible. He was invited in to look and the large group of guests became silent and apprehensive. That is, unil Bob and I became involved in sarcastic banter that quickly revealed the hoax. There was good natured laughter and applause.
When Dr. Salan retired, he moved to the farm he purchased in New Hampshire, along with his wife Elaine and two German Shephard dogs. They were docile, loving and very protective when anyone came to the house. Then, both dogs would stiffen, growl and poise, ready to attack.
I visited Dr. Salen a few times as his overnight guest and we would take long walks in the woods with his two dogs wagging their tails. On one walk, just before he passed away, I asked him to tell me something about his patients. "Well," he said, "I'm an MD sworn not to tell tales out of my private practice. I will say that this real estate mogul, Donald Trump, is a certified nut job. No way I could change his mentality. And I certainly tried!"
My internist, Dr. Sydney Kreps, was a close friend of Dr. Salan's and arranged our introduction. We bonded immediately. I appeared at dozens of his monthly parties. Sometimes with one of my "Shills." For example, Pat Paulson who was on the Smothers Brothers TV Show. Pat pretended he was seeking a psychologist to travel with him on the road for a summer tour. Because he claimed to be suicidal.
Dr. Salan's guests caught on immediately and plied Pat with questions that he answered frivolously and hilariously. It was quite an evening of fun. Another time I brought along friend Bob Pagani who was a uniformed guard at Madison Square Garden. Bob could always find me a front row seat when the Knicks played a basketball game. Nor did I have to pay.
Anyhow, I arranged for Bob to appear at Dr. Salan's party when it was in full swing, knock on the door and claim he was looking for illegal aliens hiding in his apartment. With half-a-dozen huge rooms and walkin closets, that was possible. He was invited in to look and the large group of guests became silent and apprehensive. That is, unil Bob and I became involved in sarcastic banter that quickly revealed the hoax. There was good natured laughter and applause.
When Dr. Salan retired, he moved to the farm he purchased in New Hampshire, along with his wife Elaine and two German Shephard dogs. They were docile, loving and very protective when anyone came to the house. Then, both dogs would stiffen, growl and poise, ready to attack.
I visited Dr. Salen a few times as his overnight guest and we would take long walks in the woods with his two dogs wagging their tails. On one walk, just before he passed away, I asked him to tell me something about his patients. "Well," he said, "I'm an MD sworn not to tell tales out of my private practice. I will say that this real estate mogul, Donald Trump, is a certified nut job. No way I could change his mentality. And I certainly tried!"
Tuesday, May 9, 2017
Is Priority Mail Failing?
Yes it is! I was awaiting a contract from Colorado to Connecticut that was mailed Priority Mail six days ago, and it still hasn't arrived! How come? Where did it go? I don't have a tracking number. The sender does, but has not responded to me yet. Meantime, I wait and wait. Who knows how this will turn out?
The Pony Express during the 19th Century required eight days to make a delivery from Connecticut to Colorado. They delivered the mail accurately, i.e. to the rightful person. There were occasional robbers. But the Pony Express had very fast horses and there were Way Stations to mount a fresh horse. The rider could also rest and eat at the local saloon in a hotel or inn.
When I had my own independent record company in New York City many years ago, I had to send master tapes to Los Angeles for manufacturing a thousand 45 rpm copies. Federal Express was new and I didn't like them sending everything to Memphis for destinations elsewhere. Also, a film producer I knew had mailed some original color negatives to his studio via FedEx, and they got lost!
He had $500 insurance on the package, but FedEx required him to produce the original receipts for the negatives. It was an older movie, most of the actors were dead. I suggested he offer to exhume the bodies and take new photos, as proof for the insurance payment. His $500 check arrived the next day. I was rewarded with lunch at "21" in New York.
Rather than trust the USPO or FedEx for sending my master tapes coast to coast, I would drive out to Idlewild Airport (JFK) and look over the passengers traveling to Los Angeles. Then, I would approach a well dressed person in their 30's and ask him or her to deliver my package for $20. (That was about $200 in today's economy).
I did this a dozen times and nobody ever turned me down. Nor did they ever fail to deliver the very next day! All this was way before 9/ll, the Vietnam War and today's security scrutiny at airports.
In earlier days it was possible to drive to the airport, park in a nearby garage, walk up to the ticket counter and buy a cheap ticket anywhere in the country.
So, let's show a little more respect for our parents and grandparents. They had it better and they did it better.
The Pony Express during the 19th Century required eight days to make a delivery from Connecticut to Colorado. They delivered the mail accurately, i.e. to the rightful person. There were occasional robbers. But the Pony Express had very fast horses and there were Way Stations to mount a fresh horse. The rider could also rest and eat at the local saloon in a hotel or inn.
When I had my own independent record company in New York City many years ago, I had to send master tapes to Los Angeles for manufacturing a thousand 45 rpm copies. Federal Express was new and I didn't like them sending everything to Memphis for destinations elsewhere. Also, a film producer I knew had mailed some original color negatives to his studio via FedEx, and they got lost!
He had $500 insurance on the package, but FedEx required him to produce the original receipts for the negatives. It was an older movie, most of the actors were dead. I suggested he offer to exhume the bodies and take new photos, as proof for the insurance payment. His $500 check arrived the next day. I was rewarded with lunch at "21" in New York.
Rather than trust the USPO or FedEx for sending my master tapes coast to coast, I would drive out to Idlewild Airport (JFK) and look over the passengers traveling to Los Angeles. Then, I would approach a well dressed person in their 30's and ask him or her to deliver my package for $20. (That was about $200 in today's economy).
I did this a dozen times and nobody ever turned me down. Nor did they ever fail to deliver the very next day! All this was way before 9/ll, the Vietnam War and today's security scrutiny at airports.
In earlier days it was possible to drive to the airport, park in a nearby garage, walk up to the ticket counter and buy a cheap ticket anywhere in the country.
So, let's show a little more respect for our parents and grandparents. They had it better and they did it better.
Sunday, May 7, 2017
I'll Never Forget The Day Jennifer's Music Teacher Was Arrested!
It was a summer morning and teacher Dorothy was driving three of her middle school students to see the Barnum & Bailey Circus in New York City at Madison Square Garden. Along the way from Westport, CT there was a lot of verbal banter in the Volkswagen "bug." All four were having an enjoyable experience. As Jennifer said, "I don't like Dorothy. I love her!"
They lucked into a vacant parking space just next to Madison Square Garden and enjoyed two hours of exciting circus feats by clowns, jugglers and high wire antics. The band never stopped playing throughout the show and Dorothy, a viola teacher, hummed along with the Sousa marches.
Afterwards, with cotton candy and ice cream cones, they returned to the car and were schocked to see the red roof was dented down about six inches . A note on the windshield said: "Sorry about the accident. When we walked the elephants at intermission, one of them had his own red stool and thought your red car was his stool. We have notified our insurance company and they will pay for repairs." It was signed by the General Manager.
Fortunately, they could all fit inside the car without much difficulty, except for Dorothy who had to hunch her head down a few inches. Then it was off to the nearby Westside Highway, the Cross County Parkway and the Merritt Parkway to Westport. About an hour's drive normally.
But this was not going to be a normal day. As they approached Greenwhich,CT, there was an overturned car heavily damaged. Nearby were several Highway Patrol cars, a fire engine, an ambulance and a pickup truck involved in the accident. Dorothy slowed down, then speeded up to protect the children from seeing a tragedy.
A minute later they heard a siren and saw the Highway Patrol car along side theirs. The uniformed officer signaled them to pull over and park on the highway shoulder. Dorothy did and rolled down her window when the officer came over. He was at least six feet six tall, probably weighed 250 pounds and a handsome man in his thirties.
He asked Dorothy for her driver's licence, insurance and owner's certificate. She quickly complied and then he ordered her to step out of the car. Once out, he patted her down for weapons and then read her the Miranda Doctrine. She was under arrest for leaving the scene of an accident!
Dorothy protested vehmently to no avail. When Dorothy said, "an elephant sat on my car!"
That did it. The officer replied, "Tell that to the judge. You're going to court right now." And so they all went to Greenwhich Municipal Court and stood before the judge. This robed dictator set bail for Dorothy ($10,000), which she posted by check, and her car was impounded.
Jennifer called her dad in Westport to pick them up, which he did, and they all managed to laugh over the unexpected events of the day. Eventually, Dorothy's case was dismissed when the circus management vouched for the elephant's irresponsible sitdown on her car.
They lucked into a vacant parking space just next to Madison Square Garden and enjoyed two hours of exciting circus feats by clowns, jugglers and high wire antics. The band never stopped playing throughout the show and Dorothy, a viola teacher, hummed along with the Sousa marches.
Afterwards, with cotton candy and ice cream cones, they returned to the car and were schocked to see the red roof was dented down about six inches . A note on the windshield said: "Sorry about the accident. When we walked the elephants at intermission, one of them had his own red stool and thought your red car was his stool. We have notified our insurance company and they will pay for repairs." It was signed by the General Manager.
Fortunately, they could all fit inside the car without much difficulty, except for Dorothy who had to hunch her head down a few inches. Then it was off to the nearby Westside Highway, the Cross County Parkway and the Merritt Parkway to Westport. About an hour's drive normally.
But this was not going to be a normal day. As they approached Greenwhich,CT, there was an overturned car heavily damaged. Nearby were several Highway Patrol cars, a fire engine, an ambulance and a pickup truck involved in the accident. Dorothy slowed down, then speeded up to protect the children from seeing a tragedy.
A minute later they heard a siren and saw the Highway Patrol car along side theirs. The uniformed officer signaled them to pull over and park on the highway shoulder. Dorothy did and rolled down her window when the officer came over. He was at least six feet six tall, probably weighed 250 pounds and a handsome man in his thirties.
He asked Dorothy for her driver's licence, insurance and owner's certificate. She quickly complied and then he ordered her to step out of the car. Once out, he patted her down for weapons and then read her the Miranda Doctrine. She was under arrest for leaving the scene of an accident!
Dorothy protested vehmently to no avail. When Dorothy said, "an elephant sat on my car!"
That did it. The officer replied, "Tell that to the judge. You're going to court right now." And so they all went to Greenwhich Municipal Court and stood before the judge. This robed dictator set bail for Dorothy ($10,000), which she posted by check, and her car was impounded.
Jennifer called her dad in Westport to pick them up, which he did, and they all managed to laugh over the unexpected events of the day. Eventually, Dorothy's case was dismissed when the circus management vouched for the elephant's irresponsible sitdown on her car.
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