I've been getting a number of "pitches" from Dr. Nelson and the Health Institute Sciences. They all start out with a command to "turn on your computer sound." Then begins the rant to save my life, especially if I'm older than 55 years of age. And if I don't prevail for the next ten or fifteen minutes of legal garble, along with rapid fire line drawings and the uttered words printed on my computer screen, I could suddenly die without saying goodbye to my loved ones.
Here's a sample of the verbal garbage: "I can tell you now there are four foods you should never ever eat again! (photo of a hamburger) and I will name them. But first I want to insist you hear me out in full. Don't delete this life-saving message that will allow you to throw away those pills, stop eating killer food and begin a new life all over again. Are you listening to me and reading what I am saying as well? I hope so. Sit back and relax. Forget the greedy drug companies. They only want your money and you could die as well. Or become so infirmed that you are on your back in a retirement home. Your house is sold to pay the bills as you suffer in that home, filled with lepers and sick octogenarians destined to die. But there is hope with my message and the information that can jump start your life so you can laugh, smile, run and eat healthy food to sustain your living to 100 years or more! Take your hand off that DELETE key. Listen to me. If you can't hear read my words on the screen. It's O.K. for you to record what I am about to tell you. Use your cell phone recording device. Or have a nurse do it for you. But do it now! Let's not fool around anymore with your life. It's too precious! I can save you like nobody else can. We'll get to the bad foods, questionable drugs and other killer ideas that you have been sick over. Let it be over. Listen to me. Read my lips! I hope you are ready to change your life once and forever. I have answers and solutions for you. But before I go on there are a few subjects I want to discuss and this might take a half-hour. Do you want me to continue? Of course you do. And I will reveal my secrets soon, but first................."
I won't bore you any longer, loyal followers. Just hit that DELETE icon and go on with your own life, whether it be miserable or wonderful!
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
Merry Christmas 2015., Maybe.
It was the week before Christmas several years ago. I remember it well because I had completed my shopping and was about to cross 42nd Street into Grand Central Station. Then I noticed the elderly man ahead was trudging across in Jim Conway fashion, i.e. like a 101 year old man. It was snowing and the street surface was all ice. He was beginning to slip and slide when an impatient taxi driver blasted his horn and began nudging the old guy who had two loaded shopping bags, one in each hand. He slipped down, bags and all, with wrapped presents spilled around.
Other pedestrians stood on my side of the street, some shouting encouragement, while the taxi mashed a few presents and the driver kept honking and shouting obscentities out his open window. I could see that this outrageous taxi driver had long dirty blonde hair and clutched a cigar in his dirty mouth (in both senses of the word).
The pitiful old guy was attempting to salvage his gifts strewn around and was on his hands and knees in the ice and snow. Several male passengers anxious to make their train schedule shouted to help him, but he waved them away. All this time the taxi driver continued his harrassment, while a worried passenger in the back seat decided to get out and run. He did without paying the fare.
Now the irate driver, his cab only inches from the old man, with traffic backed up and honking galore....it was rush home time....was pushing the man with his foot and still screaming epithets. Talk about a deranged guy, that driver took the cake!
Several dozen of us were now watching this sad saga and two well constructed men talked about going over and punching the taxi driver for his outrageous behavior. If I were 20 years younger I would have joined them. Then, suddenly, the man on the ice got up, flashed wallet and revealed a gold New York Police Department shield. He was a retired detective, armed (yes, he had a revolver at the ready) and he placed the taxi driver under arrest.
Simultaneously, two police cars came to a stop, the officers had their guns out and they took the taxi driver away. Those of us on the sidewalk broke into cheers and applause. The driver had dropped his cigar and had a catatonic expression on his face. He might lose his license and even go to jail (it's against the law in New York State to assault a senior citizen).
A good samaratin helped the detective gather his packages, one of the police officers drove the taxi to the side of the street and traffic flowed by again. We all went our separate ways, knowing that the long hand of the law can often arrive in the Saint Nick of the time!
Other pedestrians stood on my side of the street, some shouting encouragement, while the taxi mashed a few presents and the driver kept honking and shouting obscentities out his open window. I could see that this outrageous taxi driver had long dirty blonde hair and clutched a cigar in his dirty mouth (in both senses of the word).
The pitiful old guy was attempting to salvage his gifts strewn around and was on his hands and knees in the ice and snow. Several male passengers anxious to make their train schedule shouted to help him, but he waved them away. All this time the taxi driver continued his harrassment, while a worried passenger in the back seat decided to get out and run. He did without paying the fare.
Now the irate driver, his cab only inches from the old man, with traffic backed up and honking galore....it was rush home time....was pushing the man with his foot and still screaming epithets. Talk about a deranged guy, that driver took the cake!
Several dozen of us were now watching this sad saga and two well constructed men talked about going over and punching the taxi driver for his outrageous behavior. If I were 20 years younger I would have joined them. Then, suddenly, the man on the ice got up, flashed wallet and revealed a gold New York Police Department shield. He was a retired detective, armed (yes, he had a revolver at the ready) and he placed the taxi driver under arrest.
Simultaneously, two police cars came to a stop, the officers had their guns out and they took the taxi driver away. Those of us on the sidewalk broke into cheers and applause. The driver had dropped his cigar and had a catatonic expression on his face. He might lose his license and even go to jail (it's against the law in New York State to assault a senior citizen).
A good samaratin helped the detective gather his packages, one of the police officers drove the taxi to the side of the street and traffic flowed by again. We all went our separate ways, knowing that the long hand of the law can often arrive in the Saint Nick of the time!
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