WILL YOU BE MY BABY DADDY?

.                                                            Will You Be My Baby Daddy?

                                                   (A TV Reality Show  © 2015 Bruce Spencer)

                                                                    spencerprods@yahoo.com

                                                                      (212) 714-8298

                                                                                                              

                                                                                                                                                                                                     

                                                                   SYNOPSIS

     This weekly hour reality show displays the charisma of 12 handsome men, aged 25-45, who are auditioning and competing for the honor of supplying their sperm to an attractive lady who wishes to become pregnant. But without the formality of a relationship that leads to marriage. The show is offering $100,000 for a lucky finalist willing to impregnate her, because this woman desires a baby with no strings attached.  And millions of viewers can help choose the winner!

    The setting will be a luxury hotel resort where an entire cast lives and communicates with one another.  During the taping, over a one-month period, various mind games are played, along with sports, the candidates describe themselves, discuss the moral and legal issues, and each man spends one-on-one time with the woman who asks: WILL YOU BE MY BABY DADDY?.

     Every week one contestant is eliminated, announced by a hostess, who performs with her BFF seeking a charismatic, talented and intelligent sperm donor.  The remaining men continue on WILL YOU BE MY BABY DADDY? until ten are dismissed. Then, the final two appear on the last show, with voting by viewers, to determine which one wins the right to offer his sperm and receive $100,000.

       Auditions for WILL YOU BE MY BABY DADDY?, in New York City, are bound to attract  hundreds of men anxious to become the singular sperm donor. This event is newsworthy and guarantees high ratings for a controversial new reality television program.   Selected men will have an initial audition on video tape.  All others file their resumes and photos.   A final audition determines the 12 lucky ones.

      WILL YOU BE MY BABY DADDY?  Is going to be discussed and debated on the Internet and around every office water cooler in America.  Why?   Because of the moral, legal and financial ramifications. Religious leaders and morality groups will lead the parade of consenters and dissenters over the moral implications. Columnists, and even cartoonists, will have a field day commenting on the monetary aspects leading to recordings, books, films and stage plays. Thus, enormous word-of-mouth interest in viewing this program.

NOTE: We are presently seeking a producer with funds to finance a one-hour pilot.   Are you he or she?

                                                                                   

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

But How Will Hillery Clinton Salute the Troops?

     I can’t remember the last time I saw a woman salute. Yes, I can. It was First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt after she broke a bottle of champagne over a newly launched submarine. The officers were standing on the conning tower and she gave them a salute. It was embarrassing!

     And so Hillery take heed. Husband Bill can teach you. Your hand and forearm must be rigid, respectiful and commanding. None of  this limp stuff. You can’t seem like a pussy cat. You must display the strength of PM Margaret Thatcher and the wisdom of Mother Teresa. No small feat.

     Remember, Hillery, you will be Commander-in-Chief of the United States Army, Marines, Air Force, Coast Guard and Navy. Millions of men and women waiting your command, whatever. So you can’t be a whimp when you salute. Start practicing NOW, just in case you win the election.

     Let’s take President Obama’s salute. No, you take it. His salute is like a mouse peering out of a hole in the wall to see if the cat is around. There is no personality in his salute. It’s too swift and uncertain. All over in 1.2 seconds. Nevertheless, he still gets proper respect from the military. Even if a bit shakey.

     If President Obama is reading this blog, I suggest he research the salutes of Generals Swartzkoph and Powell. Also Eisenhower, Patton and Rommel. They had strong starch in their shorts! No mistaking their leadership!

     But for a woman it’s different. She doesn’t have the bones or brawn to play linebacker or hit a home run with the bases loaded. That’s nature’s way of saying “stay home, cook, clean and have babies.” Of course that was originally quoted by Simple Simon in 1646. Our society has changed dramatically since then.

     We still have to ask: how will Hillery Clinton salute the troops?

Let's All Kiss the Ground We Love!

     When was the last time you thanked your Deity for living in America? Rather than Kenya, Yemen, Syria, Pakistan, North Korea, Lybia, Lebanon, Uganda, Iraq, Afghanastan or Palistine? Probably never. I know I haven't. But I'm thinking about it now. Especially after the massacre in Kenya, the suicidal airplane pilot and the ravaging of Syria and Iraq by ISIS that never ends.
      So how come we Americans have abdicated our precious freedoms and concentrated instead on police brutality, racism, stuffing our stomachs with calories and intensive road rage. BTW did the cops ever find the low life in Texas who shot a woman through the glass window, after she honked her horn at him for being an asshole? All he needed was a dirty license plate to escape his punishment. And, apparently he has.
     In general I despair the indifference most people show towards their inherited freedoms. The other day I stayed in the car at WAL-MART's, while my wife shopped for a light weight wheel barrell. That hour in the passenger's seat was an eye opener for me. People of all sizes, shapes, colors and dress. Here is what I noticed:

     1.  A 300+ plus pound man struggled with his overloaded basket-on-wheels to reach his car. I give him a year to live.
     2. A swarthy-looking mother with four kids struggled to herd them into car seats with restraints. They wiggled in and out, finally leaving the car, much to her dismay. I guessed that 2 of the 4 boys willl be incarcerated someday.
     3. A little old lady in her 90's behind the wheel had taken up two spaces to park her Lexus. She slowly backed up, nearly squashing another oldie behind his loaded cart, then scared the crap out of him with a blast on her horn. Yes, he left a small feces on the ground. Forget about kissing anywhere around that old fart!
     4.  A gay man came out of WAL-MART's holding a very tiny plastic bag. I figured he must have bought a couple of screws. (No pun intended. And shut up gay rights activists. They all do have such tiny asses. Perfect for riding bicycles in Denmark with those little seats. The bike manufacturers must be in collusion with the makers of PREPARATION-H.
     Well, in the spirit of Fareed Zakarea, my favorite telecaster with the best sense and delivery, this is my take for the day. And I will kiss the ground everyday!